3-3-10 grateful for today

1. Completing things
2. My adorable dog
3. Opportunities!
4. My 15 minute timer
5. Love, openness and trust
6. Letting go
7. Breathing
8. Movement
9. Ink for my printer
10. JOY!

Letting go. Boy, years ago when I first heard that phrase (in association with healthy processing), I was at a loss of comprehending what it really means. I saw an episode on Dharma & Greg where she tells people to "put it in a bubble and blow it away." Way back then I equated it with forgetting or denying it ever happened. That's not letting go at all. That's burying it and unhealthy. Quite a lot of people that have studied and lived their lives helping others have tried to explain this. I'm trying to now and I find that it is difficult for me to put into words. My process of letting go is acknowledging my emotions, feeling them fully and truly in order to release them. Letting go is remembering what happened, remembering what I felt as a memory and not the full force of those feelings as it was happening. That's just one part of letting go. I'm finishing up my last fellowship application tonight and when I mail it off I will let go of the outcome. I will send out this application as a desire of what I want and let go of the attachment of getting it or not. I am grateful for the opportunity to apply. It's like, I'm glad to just be nominated.

I am so glad to have learned to let go. I let go of what no longer serves me. 30 minutes ago my frustration served me. My dog was barking at the TV and I allowed my frustration to be projected on him. My frustration served to me wake me up to the truth that I was frustrated at myself for not working on my application, yet again. I felt my frustration fully and released my old habit of self-sabotage. My frustration no longer serves me, I let it go. My old way of doing things was to finish my application then spend much time remembering that I blew off completing it for a few days and stay frustrated with myself. And that definitely doesn't serve me anymore.

Sharing much love. That's my 15 minutes.