Sunday, March 9, 2014

3-9-14 grateful for today

1.  My adorable dog
2.  Ability to install a wall mount
3.  Publishing my book
4.  Beautiful spring day
5.  Cleaning
6.  Taking care of myself
7.  Choices and responsibility
8.  My car running well
9.  My home
10.  Good friends

And, of course, Love and Light.  I'm having a good dayA good pace of accomplishing things for myself, to take care of me and also to shine my own light.  I have become aware of my stomach these last few days.  More specifically, the pit of anxiety that resides in my stomach and awareness because it has been such a constant feeling, I really forgot that it was there.  It was a status quo type of feeling.  Now I am aware of the feeling, and instead of my automatic response of trying to escape it, I now relax into it.  I relax the feeling and let myself know that I am safe.  I do things to create safe sacred space in my home.  And interestingly enough, it is helping and working.  I am much less stressed out than I have been in the last 6 months.  I moved to a new state and a new job and I'm just now coming down from all that stress and anxiety.  Moreso because I have become aware AND decided to change that feeling and take action to change it.  Love and Light.

Friday, March 7, 2014

3-7-14 grateful for today

1.  My adorable dog
2.  Soft pillow, comfortable bed, warm blankets
3.  My home
4.  My car running well
5.  My best friend
6.  Endless possibilities in every moment
7.  Trees
8.  Listening to the birds
9.  Love
10.  The Light.

I have been doing this list for several years now.  And yes, I have fallen away from my daily habit quite a bit.  I feel differently about gratitude.  Before my list was always things on it that I felt gratitude, but the feeling was so buried under other stuff, the stuff where I was just trying to survive the day.  There was the mental exercise of, yes, I am grateful that my car is running well.  The feeling would be more like "I'm aware that I am missing the feeling of worrying about my car."  That's what I thought gratitude was, the lack of worry.  Today I feel that gratitude is more.  I decided yesterday that I was going to put my needs first no matter what, I was going to take care of myself first.  And today I needed a nap.  I laid down in my bed with my dog and the pit of anxiety was growing in my stomach and my head was whirling.  I decided to nurture myself.  I reminded myself that I have a blanket on to be warm and help me feel safe.  I was grateful that my pillow was soft.  I watched the dog as he relaxed and slowly drifted off to sleep, with his eyes barely closing.  I heard the birds singing in the trees.  And I allowed myself to feel joy.  I enjoyed being grateful for these things, and my home, and myself.  I take care of me first.  Love and Light.