1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Happy Hour
4. Sleeping
5. Chanting
6. Busy with projects at work
7. Colors
8. Cool weather
9. Warm Blankets
10. Hugs
I feel wrung out. I see how I am booking my evenings and weekends and then complaining that I don't have any time just for me, to get my stuff done, to relax and read a book. I see that I am the one allocating my time elsewhere and to others. Some of these things I don't want to give up, like Happy Hour. It's not what you think, there is no alcohol. We actually go to Starbucks and have coffee. I meet with my very good friend and he and I feel like different parts of each other. We call it Happy Hour because spending time with each other makes us Happy. No matter how down I'm feeling or how wrung out, or how sad (lately I have been sad a lot), there are many moments of laughter at Happy Hour with my friend. The whole time is not laughter or silliness, there is space for sharing my sadness or hurt or any other emotion. Our Happy Hour is a beautiful mix of all our emotions and unconditional acceptance and love of one another. I wish everyone to be able to have this wonderful Happy Hour every week. I am blessed to be able to do this Happy Hour every week. Love and Light.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
2-23-13 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Chanting
4. Breathing
5. Sleeping in
6. Showers
7. Warm blankets & Comfy bed
8. The Light
9. Choices and responsibility
10. Endless possibilities in every moment.
I made a choice this morning to sleep in and not go to my Tai Chi class. I need my Tai Chi class. For many reasons, the least being that it's the only time I practice. Yes, I need to be practicing it daily, and I mean to, I think I want to, and yet I don't. A whole week goes by and it's time for my class again and and I think "whoops, I didn't practice, how did that happen?" I know how it happens. I spend my time watching movies and TV shows and playing games on my phone. And I chose to not go to class and sleep instead. I justify my choice by telling you that my dog was sick last night and from 2 am to 3 am I was up and outside walking my dog around as he was having digestion issues. The thing is that there is no right or wrong choice. Justifying them is an illusion. I made a choice to sleep in and I take responsibility for that choice, which is missing my class that is important. Just like I made a choice 11 years ago to be responsible for this dog and take care of him. I am responsible for feeling bad I missed my class, and I do not blame my dog. That is the illusion that this world is stuck in. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Chanting
4. Breathing
5. Sleeping in
6. Showers
7. Warm blankets & Comfy bed
8. The Light
9. Choices and responsibility
10. Endless possibilities in every moment.
I made a choice this morning to sleep in and not go to my Tai Chi class. I need my Tai Chi class. For many reasons, the least being that it's the only time I practice. Yes, I need to be practicing it daily, and I mean to, I think I want to, and yet I don't. A whole week goes by and it's time for my class again and and I think "whoops, I didn't practice, how did that happen?" I know how it happens. I spend my time watching movies and TV shows and playing games on my phone. And I chose to not go to class and sleep instead. I justify my choice by telling you that my dog was sick last night and from 2 am to 3 am I was up and outside walking my dog around as he was having digestion issues. The thing is that there is no right or wrong choice. Justifying them is an illusion. I made a choice to sleep in and I take responsibility for that choice, which is missing my class that is important. Just like I made a choice 11 years ago to be responsible for this dog and take care of him. I am responsible for feeling bad I missed my class, and I do not blame my dog. That is the illusion that this world is stuck in. Love and Light.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
2-16-13 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Cloudy cool day
4. Creativity and talent
5. Tai Chi
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Chanting
8. Unconditional Love
9. Breathing
10. The Light
This is one of those mornings where the list was hard enough to come up with and I don't feel like writing anything more. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Cloudy cool day
4. Creativity and talent
5. Tai Chi
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Chanting
8. Unconditional Love
9. Breathing
10. The Light
This is one of those mornings where the list was hard enough to come up with and I don't feel like writing anything more. Love and Light.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
2-14-13 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Rain
3. Music
4. My car running well
5. Creativity
6. The Light
7. Happy Hour
8. Unconditional love
9. Breathing
10. Endless possibilities in every moment.
Today is Valentine's Day and I've been trying to conveniently forget about it all day, yet friends and strangers keep reminding me and wishing me happiness. Lately I've been feeling very alone, to the point of tears. I am a single woman. I have always been single. I have never had a boyfriend and I'm in my 40's. I closed myself off from all people emotionally at a very young age to survive. Now I'm opening up, I'm showing my vulnerability. It's hard. I hurt a lot more and I feel a greater joy connecting with people and friends by being open and vulnerable. I care and tend to my own old wounds and I need to remember to be gentle to myself. I ask everybody in the world to please be gentle with me. There is that of The Light in each and every person . . . there is also a tragedy that lives just below the skin in every person. So answer that of The Light in everyone and please be gentle. Love and Light.
2. Rain
3. Music
4. My car running well
5. Creativity
6. The Light
7. Happy Hour
8. Unconditional love
9. Breathing
10. Endless possibilities in every moment.
Today is Valentine's Day and I've been trying to conveniently forget about it all day, yet friends and strangers keep reminding me and wishing me happiness. Lately I've been feeling very alone, to the point of tears. I am a single woman. I have always been single. I have never had a boyfriend and I'm in my 40's. I closed myself off from all people emotionally at a very young age to survive. Now I'm opening up, I'm showing my vulnerability. It's hard. I hurt a lot more and I feel a greater joy connecting with people and friends by being open and vulnerable. I care and tend to my own old wounds and I need to remember to be gentle to myself. I ask everybody in the world to please be gentle with me. There is that of The Light in each and every person . . . there is also a tragedy that lives just below the skin in every person. So answer that of The Light in everyone and please be gentle. Love and Light.
2-13-13 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Getting gunk out of and off my chest
4. Therapy
5. Acupuncture
6. Music
7. Unconditional Love
8. Clarity
9. Connectedness
10. The Light
It is the next day already. I did write the 10 items on the 13th, and now it is the next day and here I am writing my little blog. I will now do the list for today. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Getting gunk out of and off my chest
4. Therapy
5. Acupuncture
6. Music
7. Unconditional Love
8. Clarity
9. Connectedness
10. The Light
It is the next day already. I did write the 10 items on the 13th, and now it is the next day and here I am writing my little blog. I will now do the list for today. Love and Light.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
2-12-13 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. My wonderful job
4. Quakers
5. Love and Light
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Creativity
8. Meditation
9. Chanting
10. Clearing out of old gunk
WOW! I haven't posted to this blog in a week! I thought with having a new laptop to where it is easier and more accessible, that it would make posting and getting tasks done easier. Well, just getting a new tool doesn't automatically get the thing done, I still need to be engaged and put energy in it. It's like buying a new hammer and placing it on the board with the nails and going to get coffee and when I come back I'm amazed that nothing has been done. No nails have been hammered in. "But I just bought a new hammer!" is the cry in my head, "Why has nothing been hammered in?!" A new tool isn't going to do the work for me. It may make the work easier, but I have to use it to find out. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. My wonderful job
4. Quakers
5. Love and Light
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Creativity
8. Meditation
9. Chanting
10. Clearing out of old gunk
WOW! I haven't posted to this blog in a week! I thought with having a new laptop to where it is easier and more accessible, that it would make posting and getting tasks done easier. Well, just getting a new tool doesn't automatically get the thing done, I still need to be engaged and put energy in it. It's like buying a new hammer and placing it on the board with the nails and going to get coffee and when I come back I'm amazed that nothing has been done. No nails have been hammered in. "But I just bought a new hammer!" is the cry in my head, "Why has nothing been hammered in?!" A new tool isn't going to do the work for me. It may make the work easier, but I have to use it to find out. Love and Light.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
2-5-13 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Sleeping in
3. Breathing
4. Chanting
5. My car running well
6. A new day
7. After Effects
8. Creativity and talent
9. Rest and relaxation
10. Love and Light
I'm feeling physically uncomfortable. I'm at work telling myself that I need to be here because of deadlines for projects and a new student intern assigned to me starting this week. If I stayed home sick, the day would continue without me. Things would get done in their own time. All would be okay. And yet I'm here at work. Feeling tired and okay. Getting things done. Some days I think my job is very silly. I create commercials, 30 second spots that promote a product or service. I create awareness, the possibility of awareness. Because the people have to see it and be open to see it and hear it. The people themselves have to be open to awareness. I need to be open to awareness. Love and Light.
2. Sleeping in
3. Breathing
4. Chanting
5. My car running well
6. A new day
7. After Effects
8. Creativity and talent
9. Rest and relaxation
10. Love and Light
I'm feeling physically uncomfortable. I'm at work telling myself that I need to be here because of deadlines for projects and a new student intern assigned to me starting this week. If I stayed home sick, the day would continue without me. Things would get done in their own time. All would be okay. And yet I'm here at work. Feeling tired and okay. Getting things done. Some days I think my job is very silly. I create commercials, 30 second spots that promote a product or service. I create awareness, the possibility of awareness. Because the people have to see it and be open to see it and hear it. The people themselves have to be open to awareness. I need to be open to awareness. Love and Light.
Monday, February 4, 2013
2-4-13 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Cool weather
3. Warm blankets
4. Sleeping
5. Breathing
6. Beginning anew
7. Endless possibilities in every moment
8. Silence
9. Friends
10. Unconditional Love
I'm feeling physically bad today. I would have called in sick, but I have a new student intern starting with me today . . . some impression I'm going to leave on her, coming into work sick. I'm noticing that good solutions to situations are not coming to me in time to implement them. My thinking is slowed and confused. Like for lunch today, I ordered and it was $6.20 and I handed them my card, they have a new policy that it is an $8 minimum for cards. I say I have cash, I only have $6 in my pocket. After she runs my card "this time only!" I realize that I have change and additional cash in the car. I could have had a solution that makes everyone happy, but I didn't realize it until I was walking back out to my car with my food. I feel sluggish. I did not do my morning rituals of chanting and meditating. I snoozed my alarm for 2 hours! And I'm still tired . . . and coughing . . . and not breathing well. I'm okay. I'm safe. I'm loved. Love and Light.
2. Cool weather
3. Warm blankets
4. Sleeping
5. Breathing
6. Beginning anew
7. Endless possibilities in every moment
8. Silence
9. Friends
10. Unconditional Love
I'm feeling physically bad today. I would have called in sick, but I have a new student intern starting with me today . . . some impression I'm going to leave on her, coming into work sick. I'm noticing that good solutions to situations are not coming to me in time to implement them. My thinking is slowed and confused. Like for lunch today, I ordered and it was $6.20 and I handed them my card, they have a new policy that it is an $8 minimum for cards. I say I have cash, I only have $6 in my pocket. After she runs my card "this time only!" I realize that I have change and additional cash in the car. I could have had a solution that makes everyone happy, but I didn't realize it until I was walking back out to my car with my food. I feel sluggish. I did not do my morning rituals of chanting and meditating. I snoozed my alarm for 2 hours! And I'm still tired . . . and coughing . . . and not breathing well. I'm okay. I'm safe. I'm loved. Love and Light.
Friday, February 1, 2013
1-31-13 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Chanting
4. Meditating
5. Imagination and creativity
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Friends
8. Cool weather
9. Unconditional Love
10. The Light
I usually try to write this in the morning as soon as I get to work. Right now it's the afternoon and I started this in the morning and I've been sidetracked all day. Which used to be not normal for my position. I was usually left alone and I came up with what I worked on and what I produced with minimal input from others. In the last month there have been a lot of people asking me if I can do productions and spots for them, which is great. And it's changed my routine. I have been trying very hard to keep a routine at home when I get up. Chanting and Meditating is a big part of that routine and it is very helpful through my day if I start with those. So, now I may need to do this at home at the end of the day because my morning is packed and I'm writing this last sentence the next day because I just saw this in my drafts and not published. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Chanting
4. Meditating
5. Imagination and creativity
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Friends
8. Cool weather
9. Unconditional Love
10. The Light
I usually try to write this in the morning as soon as I get to work. Right now it's the afternoon and I started this in the morning and I've been sidetracked all day. Which used to be not normal for my position. I was usually left alone and I came up with what I worked on and what I produced with minimal input from others. In the last month there have been a lot of people asking me if I can do productions and spots for them, which is great. And it's changed my routine. I have been trying very hard to keep a routine at home when I get up. Chanting and Meditating is a big part of that routine and it is very helpful through my day if I start with those. So, now I may need to do this at home at the end of the day because my morning is packed and I'm writing this last sentence the next day because I just saw this in my drafts and not published. Love and Light.
2-1-13 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Being of service
4. Creativity and talent
5. Endless possibilities in every moment
6. Learning
7. Love and Light
8. My phone and computer
9. Wonderful friends
10. Connecting
Where to find time for all the things I want to learn? And then where is the time to practice and use all the things I've learned to retain them? Where's the time to chant and meditate? I skipped it this morning because I snoozed the alarm again. Is getting up earlier and staying up later the trick for doing all the things I want to do? Then I'm sleep deprived and I don't enjoy anything. There's a new word for me to learn "discernment". And I know the meaning of the word, I can use it correctly in a sentence. When I say learn, I mean a deeper knowing of the word, a deeper knowing of "discernment". What is that deeper discernment of my needs, wants, tasks, and commitments to fill my time wisely. It is the deeper discernment of knowing what I need to let go and what I need to do now. Our modern, gadget-filled culture, and especially the advertising tells us "we can do it all!" We just need to buy every "time-saving gadget" there is. But that is an illusion. We spend more time putting the information into the "time-saving gadget" so that we can finally benefit from the time savings. Which there are a lot of gadgets that do save me time and help me stay organized. What I'm talking about is the selling of the concept that we don't have to discern and let go of some wants and desires to take care of our needs. That's what they are selling, that we don't have to let go of anything, we can do it all. It's a lie. We can't do it all and there is a very necessary and spiritual and emotional need for the practice of discernment for ourselves. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Being of service
4. Creativity and talent
5. Endless possibilities in every moment
6. Learning
7. Love and Light
8. My phone and computer
9. Wonderful friends
10. Connecting
Where to find time for all the things I want to learn? And then where is the time to practice and use all the things I've learned to retain them? Where's the time to chant and meditate? I skipped it this morning because I snoozed the alarm again. Is getting up earlier and staying up later the trick for doing all the things I want to do? Then I'm sleep deprived and I don't enjoy anything. There's a new word for me to learn "discernment". And I know the meaning of the word, I can use it correctly in a sentence. When I say learn, I mean a deeper knowing of the word, a deeper knowing of "discernment". What is that deeper discernment of my needs, wants, tasks, and commitments to fill my time wisely. It is the deeper discernment of knowing what I need to let go and what I need to do now. Our modern, gadget-filled culture, and especially the advertising tells us "we can do it all!" We just need to buy every "time-saving gadget" there is. But that is an illusion. We spend more time putting the information into the "time-saving gadget" so that we can finally benefit from the time savings. Which there are a lot of gadgets that do save me time and help me stay organized. What I'm talking about is the selling of the concept that we don't have to discern and let go of some wants and desires to take care of our needs. That's what they are selling, that we don't have to let go of anything, we can do it all. It's a lie. We can't do it all and there is a very necessary and spiritual and emotional need for the practice of discernment for ourselves. Love and Light.
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