1. Chanting
2. Meditation
3. My car running well
4. Eating
5. My adorable dog
6. Abundance
7. Endless possibilities in every moment
8. Choices
9. Emotions
10. Love
A Monday morning and I realize I spent the weekend relaxing. My old pattern of behavior would be to start beating myself up now. My new behavior is to be grateful I relaxed and took care of myself emotionally. I was sad and angry and full of shame over the weekend and I took time to release and extinguish those emotions. I do see an old pattern of procrastination of not doing the physical things to take care of myself. Today is a new day and this morning is a new beginning.
Love and light.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
2-26-11 grateful for today
1. Music
2. Relaxing breezes in the sun
3. Choices
4. Awareness
5. Happiness
6. Life experiences
7. Flowing and enjoying the flow
8. Noble friends
9. Abundance
10. Creativity
I am happy and mellow and relaxed today. I have beautiful music playing. There is a wonderful breeze gently flowing through the apartment. I have a more fruits and vegetables in my fridge than ever before. I am filled with love and joy. My struggle (if I think about it) is how to balance this flowing relaxation of doing only what I'm compelled to do, with doing the things that are necessary . . . like vacuuming. I shall meditate on that.
Love and light.
2. Relaxing breezes in the sun
3. Choices
4. Awareness
5. Happiness
6. Life experiences
7. Flowing and enjoying the flow
8. Noble friends
9. Abundance
10. Creativity
I am happy and mellow and relaxed today. I have beautiful music playing. There is a wonderful breeze gently flowing through the apartment. I have a more fruits and vegetables in my fridge than ever before. I am filled with love and joy. My struggle (if I think about it) is how to balance this flowing relaxation of doing only what I'm compelled to do, with doing the things that are necessary . . . like vacuuming. I shall meditate on that.
Love and light.
Friday, February 25, 2011
2-25-11 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Choices, choices, choices
3. endless opportunities in every moment
4. My heating pad
5. Noble unconditionally loving friends
6. The power of tools
7. Life's experiences
8. All my emotions
9. My computer
10. My car running well
There's not much extra time to write too much on my thoughts this morning. I had a hard time coming up with the items on my list today. I have choices. I forget that one sometimes. I feel like the simplest choices are hard for me today. I'm safe. I'm on my path.
Love and light
2. Choices, choices, choices
3. endless opportunities in every moment
4. My heating pad
5. Noble unconditionally loving friends
6. The power of tools
7. Life's experiences
8. All my emotions
9. My computer
10. My car running well
There's not much extra time to write too much on my thoughts this morning. I had a hard time coming up with the items on my list today. I have choices. I forget that one sometimes. I feel like the simplest choices are hard for me today. I'm safe. I'm on my path.
Love and light
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
2-23-11 grateful for today
1. New experiences on my path
2. New, more complete perspectives on everyday experiences
3. Being present in the moment
4. My adorable dog
5. Acupuncture
6. Eating
7. Breathing
8. Choices and opportunities
9. Love
10. Healing
Today I will be working on extinguishing my fear and shame. An everyday necessary activity that I turned into punishment of myself. Eating. I continued the patterns I learned and created from my childhood. There wasn't much I could do as a kid. Putting things in my mouth was horrible and I made eating one of those horrible things. 35 years later and I'm strong enough and faced my beliefs last night. And I'm strong enough to face them every meal. I am relearning to nurture and care for myself with food. I am experiencing what having food in my mouth feels like, what chewing and tasting is all about. I never was present or aware before. I did the psychological equivalent of closing my eyes and holding my nose and shoveling the food in and completing the evil deed with as much detachment. It's where survival instinct took over and it didn't matter what I ate, just that I survived. I would eat until the food tasted as disgusting as I felt. I would eat not knowing what full or hungry felt like or not know how much. Now, I am strong to choose and be aware of what goes into my mouth. I am safe. Finally, I am safe.
Love and light.
2. New, more complete perspectives on everyday experiences
3. Being present in the moment
4. My adorable dog
5. Acupuncture
6. Eating
7. Breathing
8. Choices and opportunities
9. Love
10. Healing
Today I will be working on extinguishing my fear and shame. An everyday necessary activity that I turned into punishment of myself. Eating. I continued the patterns I learned and created from my childhood. There wasn't much I could do as a kid. Putting things in my mouth was horrible and I made eating one of those horrible things. 35 years later and I'm strong enough and faced my beliefs last night. And I'm strong enough to face them every meal. I am relearning to nurture and care for myself with food. I am experiencing what having food in my mouth feels like, what chewing and tasting is all about. I never was present or aware before. I did the psychological equivalent of closing my eyes and holding my nose and shoveling the food in and completing the evil deed with as much detachment. It's where survival instinct took over and it didn't matter what I ate, just that I survived. I would eat until the food tasted as disgusting as I felt. I would eat not knowing what full or hungry felt like or not know how much. Now, I am strong to choose and be aware of what goes into my mouth. I am safe. Finally, I am safe.
Love and light.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
2-22-11 grateful for today
1. A new opportunity working on my passion
2. My adorable dog
3. My car running well
4. My creative ability and talent
5. Healing
6. Unconditional love
7. Trust
8. Courage
9. Noble friends
10. My journey in life
The offer of my new career path in video production isn't on the table yet, however, there is a good possibility I will be starting a new position in the middle of March. I'm allowing myself to want this. I'm allowing myself to be excited for this change in my life in a positive direction. Change is scary. I'm making this mean a whole lot more than what it is. I'm making it mean that I will have to stay in South Florida forever. That's not true. Nothing is set down as a hard rule. I'm open to all the endless possibilities that are before me. I am in this moment and this moment is precious.
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. My car running well
4. My creative ability and talent
5. Healing
6. Unconditional love
7. Trust
8. Courage
9. Noble friends
10. My journey in life
The offer of my new career path in video production isn't on the table yet, however, there is a good possibility I will be starting a new position in the middle of March. I'm allowing myself to want this. I'm allowing myself to be excited for this change in my life in a positive direction. Change is scary. I'm making this mean a whole lot more than what it is. I'm making it mean that I will have to stay in South Florida forever. That's not true. Nothing is set down as a hard rule. I'm open to all the endless possibilities that are before me. I am in this moment and this moment is precious.
Love and light.
Monday, February 21, 2011
2-21-11 grateful for today
1. A day off
2. My adorable dog
3. Openness to possibilities
4. Starting new at any time
5. Change and choosing
6. Love and compassion
7. Relaxation
8. Enjoyment of this day, this moment
9. Courage
10. My car running well
I want change and I can feel my fear of change. That choice of mine between anxiety and excitement. Changing my patterns for something new. For a new experience, for a new way to live. Life will continue. Experiences will help me grow. I trust. I trust.
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. Openness to possibilities
4. Starting new at any time
5. Change and choosing
6. Love and compassion
7. Relaxation
8. Enjoyment of this day, this moment
9. Courage
10. My car running well
I want change and I can feel my fear of change. That choice of mine between anxiety and excitement. Changing my patterns for something new. For a new experience, for a new way to live. Life will continue. Experiences will help me grow. I trust. I trust.
Love and light.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
2-20-11 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Road trips visiting family and friends
4. Back home again
5. Openness to meet new people
6. Trust in my life's path
7. Trust in what is in front of me is real
8. Unconditional love
9. Divine light
10. Courage
I have a tri-county picnic to go to today. The time for me to leave is getting closer and I'm dragging my feet. This is called self-sabotage. I have certain things I need to get done before I go (like shower, and make a dish to pass) and I'm grumbling about my back hurting and not feeling like I want to go. The feeling when I am completely true, is fear. Fear of meeting new Quakers, fear of not belonging, fear of doing something new. My archenemy, doubt, has sneaked back into my consciousness and has been messing with my internal wiring. I gather my courage and shower and make a dish, and fix my didgeridoo, and I'm on my way to the picnic.
Love and light.
2. My car running well
3. Road trips visiting family and friends
4. Back home again
5. Openness to meet new people
6. Trust in my life's path
7. Trust in what is in front of me is real
8. Unconditional love
9. Divine light
10. Courage
I have a tri-county picnic to go to today. The time for me to leave is getting closer and I'm dragging my feet. This is called self-sabotage. I have certain things I need to get done before I go (like shower, and make a dish to pass) and I'm grumbling about my back hurting and not feeling like I want to go. The feeling when I am completely true, is fear. Fear of meeting new Quakers, fear of not belonging, fear of doing something new. My archenemy, doubt, has sneaked back into my consciousness and has been messing with my internal wiring. I gather my courage and shower and make a dish, and fix my didgeridoo, and I'm on my way to the picnic.
Love and light.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
2-17-11 grateful for today
1. Journaling
2. Mornings
3. My adorable dog
4. Trust
5. Courage
6. Love and Light
7. Handwritten letters
8. My car running well
9. Creativity and imagination
10. Ability to change
Some days coming up with 10 things takes longer than others. An opportunity for me to change, transform and grow has come up in me. I'm postponing it until next Tuesday. It seems rational in my head, now that I wrote it to where I and everyone else can read it seem silly to postpone growth. I know I'm waiting until professional help. It's like making an appointment with the doctor and being afraid my diseased will be healed before I go to the appointment. Part of this is I'm afraid of delving deeply and damaging myself more so without help. I am safe to be alive and joyous.
Love and light.
2. Mornings
3. My adorable dog
4. Trust
5. Courage
6. Love and Light
7. Handwritten letters
8. My car running well
9. Creativity and imagination
10. Ability to change
Some days coming up with 10 things takes longer than others. An opportunity for me to change, transform and grow has come up in me. I'm postponing it until next Tuesday. It seems rational in my head, now that I wrote it to where I and everyone else can read it seem silly to postpone growth. I know I'm waiting until professional help. It's like making an appointment with the doctor and being afraid my diseased will be healed before I go to the appointment. Part of this is I'm afraid of delving deeply and damaging myself more so without help. I am safe to be alive and joyous.
Love and light.
Monday, February 14, 2011
2-14-11 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Music
3. Stillness
4. Cool weather
5. Space and time
6. Connection with others
7. All my support network and community
8. Water
9. Endless opportunities
10. Eternal new beginnings
I feel centered and grounded and peaceful, and yet I'm having trouble with my breath. If I'm not paying attention to it, it is very shallow. I'm consciously taking deep life-affirming breaths and when I get distracted, my breath goes right back to being shallow. I'm open to whatever comes this week. I'm hoping this will be a calm week for me as last week was a roller coaster emotionally. I'm noticing more and more the noise in my brain and it correlates to noise I'm listening to. the more noise in my brain, the more noisy the world is. The quieter my brain is, the quieter or more musical the world is.
Love and light.
2. Music
3. Stillness
4. Cool weather
5. Space and time
6. Connection with others
7. All my support network and community
8. Water
9. Endless opportunities
10. Eternal new beginnings
I feel centered and grounded and peaceful, and yet I'm having trouble with my breath. If I'm not paying attention to it, it is very shallow. I'm consciously taking deep life-affirming breaths and when I get distracted, my breath goes right back to being shallow. I'm open to whatever comes this week. I'm hoping this will be a calm week for me as last week was a roller coaster emotionally. I'm noticing more and more the noise in my brain and it correlates to noise I'm listening to. the more noise in my brain, the more noisy the world is. The quieter my brain is, the quieter or more musical the world is.
Love and light.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
2-10-11 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Chakras and meditation
3. Chanting
4. A new morning, new beginning
5. Unconditional love
6. Awareness and choice
7. Acceptance
8. My car running well
9. My creativity and talents
10. Breath of life
This day is unknown to me. I'm a planner. I know what I'm doing at work, at lunch, after work. I know what I'm doing this weekend, and next week. My calendar is filled with places and times to do things. Today I don't know. I know I'm going to start out at work and my friend may have a window of opportunity to leave her abusive husband. There are a lot of ifs. If he leaves the house today, if she decides to take the risk, if I can get off work on short notice, if she moves in with me, if he finds out where she's gone, . . . a lot of ifs that keep going. Every if is followed by a then. My struggle is to stay open, stay in this moment. My struggle is to trust this moment I am in, trust that the next moment will flow, trust that I am a spiritual being having a human experience.
Love and light.
2. Chakras and meditation
3. Chanting
4. A new morning, new beginning
5. Unconditional love
6. Awareness and choice
7. Acceptance
8. My car running well
9. My creativity and talents
10. Breath of life
This day is unknown to me. I'm a planner. I know what I'm doing at work, at lunch, after work. I know what I'm doing this weekend, and next week. My calendar is filled with places and times to do things. Today I don't know. I know I'm going to start out at work and my friend may have a window of opportunity to leave her abusive husband. There are a lot of ifs. If he leaves the house today, if she decides to take the risk, if I can get off work on short notice, if she moves in with me, if he finds out where she's gone, . . . a lot of ifs that keep going. Every if is followed by a then. My struggle is to stay open, stay in this moment. My struggle is to trust this moment I am in, trust that the next moment will flow, trust that I am a spiritual being having a human experience.
Love and light.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
2-9-11 grateful for today
1. Holding space for another
2. My path, my journey
3. My adorable dog
4. My car running well
5. My creativity and talents
6. Unconditional love
7. Deep trust
8. Pumpkin bread
9. Chanting
10. Endless possibilities
What my heart wants is important. This concept of want and need. I learned it well healing myself from co-dependence, what I need is what I provide for myself, what I want is from others. I don't need from anybody, I want from them. And I learned it too well thinking that I provide all my needs so what I want doesn't matter. I incorrectly believed that to be truly healthy, I wouldn't want from anybody. Well, now I know that is unhealthy. I also needed to shift to a new belief, I am safe when somebody else fulfills a need that I am provided to fill for myself. Like hugs and love. I need to love myself and hold myself. I want others to love and hold me also. And yet, I shy away from that. This new shift of want and need is still settling in with me.
Love and light.
2. My path, my journey
3. My adorable dog
4. My car running well
5. My creativity and talents
6. Unconditional love
7. Deep trust
8. Pumpkin bread
9. Chanting
10. Endless possibilities
What my heart wants is important. This concept of want and need. I learned it well healing myself from co-dependence, what I need is what I provide for myself, what I want is from others. I don't need from anybody, I want from them. And I learned it too well thinking that I provide all my needs so what I want doesn't matter. I incorrectly believed that to be truly healthy, I wouldn't want from anybody. Well, now I know that is unhealthy. I also needed to shift to a new belief, I am safe when somebody else fulfills a need that I am provided to fill for myself. Like hugs and love. I need to love myself and hold myself. I want others to love and hold me also. And yet, I shy away from that. This new shift of want and need is still settling in with me.
Love and light.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
2-8-11 grateful for today
1. A lunch date
2. Emotional processing
3. What my heart wants is important
4. Working bathroom
5. My adorable loving dog
6. Sleeping well and waking up energized
7. My car running well
8. Unconditional love
9. Life experiences
10. Sage and incense
Life is wonderful. I did some emotional processes last night and came away uncovering my old belief that what I want doesn't matter. I choose to transform that into my new belief that what my heart wants is important. Asking for what I want is important. I am on my path and I'm moving forward.
Love and light.
2. Emotional processing
3. What my heart wants is important
4. Working bathroom
5. My adorable loving dog
6. Sleeping well and waking up energized
7. My car running well
8. Unconditional love
9. Life experiences
10. Sage and incense
Life is wonderful. I did some emotional processes last night and came away uncovering my old belief that what I want doesn't matter. I choose to transform that into my new belief that what my heart wants is important. Asking for what I want is important. I am on my path and I'm moving forward.
Love and light.
Monday, February 7, 2011
2-7-11 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Sleeping and sitting quietly and resting
3. Water Air Fire Earth
4. Great Spirit, Greater Magnificence, Wakan Tanka
5. My car running well
6. Abundance
7. My budget
8. My job and co-workers
9. Therapy session today
10. Unconditional belief
My life is amazing. There are a lot of experiences in it. Some terrifying and I barely got through them and in surviving through them, I was not able to gain the lesson at that time. So, I know I need to go back in my memory to gain the lesson. This is hard for me to do. There are a lot of pieces and going and getting a piece is what I need to do to stay sane. I am putting the whole picture together and I can only see one piece at a time. The forest is beautiful, and for me to see that beauty I need to look at each gnarled knot and at each tree.
Love and light.
2. Sleeping and sitting quietly and resting
3. Water Air Fire Earth
4. Great Spirit, Greater Magnificence, Wakan Tanka
5. My car running well
6. Abundance
7. My budget
8. My job and co-workers
9. Therapy session today
10. Unconditional belief
My life is amazing. There are a lot of experiences in it. Some terrifying and I barely got through them and in surviving through them, I was not able to gain the lesson at that time. So, I know I need to go back in my memory to gain the lesson. This is hard for me to do. There are a lot of pieces and going and getting a piece is what I need to do to stay sane. I am putting the whole picture together and I can only see one piece at a time. The forest is beautiful, and for me to see that beauty I need to look at each gnarled knot and at each tree.
Love and light.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
2-6-11 grateful for today
1. Quaker meeting
2. The sun
3. My adorable dog
4. Opportunity to be of service
5. Love
6. Art and creativity
7. My computer running well
8. Endless opportunities
9. Abundance
10. Meditation
I don't have anything to write about this morning. My list came quickly and then I am enjoying sitting quietly. Love and light.
2. The sun
3. My adorable dog
4. Opportunity to be of service
5. Love
6. Art and creativity
7. My computer running well
8. Endless opportunities
9. Abundance
10. Meditation
I don't have anything to write about this morning. My list came quickly and then I am enjoying sitting quietly. Love and light.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
2-5-11 grateful for today
1. Other people, mirrors of my soul
2. Water
3. Working bathroom
4. Abundance
5. Amazement
6. My adorable dog
7. Wind through the trees
8. Vision and dreams
9. Breathing
10. Unconditional love
I have had a good day. Up and down. Productive and lazy. Giving and receiving. Dog is barking and my thoughts shift abruptly to my downstairs neighbor. Why on nice breezy days do they constantly open and shut their sliding glass balcony door? Everytime my dog hears the rumble, he barking his head off. My doors are open all day letting the breeze come in. I cannot fathom why my neighbors are constantly opening and shutting. Maybe that's what our society has taught us to do. Open our hearts and slam them shut in terror, over and over. Mine is open.
Love and light.
2. Water
3. Working bathroom
4. Abundance
5. Amazement
6. My adorable dog
7. Wind through the trees
8. Vision and dreams
9. Breathing
10. Unconditional love
I have had a good day. Up and down. Productive and lazy. Giving and receiving. Dog is barking and my thoughts shift abruptly to my downstairs neighbor. Why on nice breezy days do they constantly open and shut their sliding glass balcony door? Everytime my dog hears the rumble, he barking his head off. My doors are open all day letting the breeze come in. I cannot fathom why my neighbors are constantly opening and shutting. Maybe that's what our society has taught us to do. Open our hearts and slam them shut in terror, over and over. Mine is open.
Love and light.
Friday, February 4, 2011
2-4-11 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Playfulness and joy
3. Sleeping through the night
4. Sunrise
5. Unconditional love
6. Wakan Tanka
7. Water Air Fire Earth
8. Loving support
9. Chanting
10. Life
The circle of life. There is a circle of support. As I support my friend who is in a bad situation at the moment, I am supported by my friends, and they are supported, and the support goes round and round as love and energy flows around and through everything on this planet. I like the Taoist belief of our ethereal bodies. They extend further and further beyond our physical bodies until we get to our 8th body which extends outward to encompass the whole of the universe. And that is how I know you without ever meeting you.
Love and light.
2. Playfulness and joy
3. Sleeping through the night
4. Sunrise
5. Unconditional love
6. Wakan Tanka
7. Water Air Fire Earth
8. Loving support
9. Chanting
10. Life
The circle of life. There is a circle of support. As I support my friend who is in a bad situation at the moment, I am supported by my friends, and they are supported, and the support goes round and round as love and energy flows around and through everything on this planet. I like the Taoist belief of our ethereal bodies. They extend further and further beyond our physical bodies until we get to our 8th body which extends outward to encompass the whole of the universe. And that is how I know you without ever meeting you.
Love and light.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
2-3-11 grateful for today
1. Chinese new year of the metal rabbit
2. My adorable dog
3. Loving supportive friends
4. Trust
5. Wakan Tanka
6. Endless possibilities
7. Amazing people on this amazing earth
8. Air Water Fire Earth
9. Meditation
10. Chanting
I went to an amazing chanting circle and felt great energy and support from my amazing group. I was seeking support as I have been supporting a dear friend who is on the terrifying threshold of leaving her abusive husband. I feel my friends terror at just considering the possibility of leaving him. I understand that terror. I had recently considered a taking a big step in my growth which is also a big risk, and the terror that came with just considering it, stopped me. And that's okay. Sometimes we need to jump off that cliff with deep faith and trust and to build that faith, there may be a lot of cautiously looking over the edge and running away. When the decision is made, the jump will happen. Sending much love and light into the world.
2. My adorable dog
3. Loving supportive friends
4. Trust
5. Wakan Tanka
6. Endless possibilities
7. Amazing people on this amazing earth
8. Air Water Fire Earth
9. Meditation
10. Chanting
I went to an amazing chanting circle and felt great energy and support from my amazing group. I was seeking support as I have been supporting a dear friend who is on the terrifying threshold of leaving her abusive husband. I feel my friends terror at just considering the possibility of leaving him. I understand that terror. I had recently considered a taking a big step in my growth which is also a big risk, and the terror that came with just considering it, stopped me. And that's okay. Sometimes we need to jump off that cliff with deep faith and trust and to build that faith, there may be a lot of cautiously looking over the edge and running away. When the decision is made, the jump will happen. Sending much love and light into the world.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
2-2-11 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Chanting
3. Mastermind
4. My open heart
5. Understanding
6. Endless possibilities
7. This beautiful day
8. The earth
9. My job and co-workers
10. Unconditional love
I'm feeling both joyous and sad this morning. I believe I am touching on my hope. I buried my hope and feeling hope a very long time ago. It was hard to believe that my dreams are possible when I was so busy just surviving. I'm moving beyond survival into living and towards living my dreams. I'm aware now of when one of my old beliefs need to change, that I feel like I'm going to die. My old belief and behavior was created so that I survived so many years ago. My life has changed all around now, and the threat of death that was so real when I was a kid, is now an illusion as an adult. I'm doing okay.
Love and light.
2. Chanting
3. Mastermind
4. My open heart
5. Understanding
6. Endless possibilities
7. This beautiful day
8. The earth
9. My job and co-workers
10. Unconditional love
I'm feeling both joyous and sad this morning. I believe I am touching on my hope. I buried my hope and feeling hope a very long time ago. It was hard to believe that my dreams are possible when I was so busy just surviving. I'm moving beyond survival into living and towards living my dreams. I'm aware now of when one of my old beliefs need to change, that I feel like I'm going to die. My old belief and behavior was created so that I survived so many years ago. My life has changed all around now, and the threat of death that was so real when I was a kid, is now an illusion as an adult. I'm doing okay.
Love and light.
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