1. Permeable boundaries
2. Unconditional love
3. Happy Hour
4. New friends and old friends
5. My amazing job doing what I love
6. My adorable dog
7. Having a rental car
8. Abundance
9. Openness
10. Listening to myself
I had a lesson last night on listening to myself. I've been doing the online dating thing and had a chance to meet someone I met through the dating site. From the first few phone calls I was feeling that this guy might not be for me. Conversations didn't flow easily and I didn't feel we were finding any common interests between the two of us. I continued on thinking that having my heart open and continuing might change something, or meeting in person there might be a different feeling or energy. Well, I met him in person last night and there was not a "spark" or an "attraction" from me to him. I was pleasant and open and giving him a chance. He wanted to kiss me immediately, and not a gentle "hello" type of peck. I was able to gently and with love tell him no and how I felt that this is a first date and none of that was going to be happening on a first date or maybe for several dates. He was himself to the best of his ability and I knew that his heart had closed a long time ago. He is on his own path. He tried again to kiss me twice more and I was able to say, "I'm leaving now. I hope you find somebody that wants to go the pace you want to go. It's not me." I felt releived and very proud of myself to gently and lovingly enforce my boundary and not take on any responsibility for his feelings. He is on his path and I hold him in the light.
Love and Light.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
6-27-11 grateful for today
1. Honoring my emotions and experiences
2. My adorable job
3. My amazing creative job
4. Music, art, creativity
5. Endless possibilities in every moment
6. Completing a project
7. Abundance
8. Unconditional love
9. Divine Light
10. Community and noble friends.
I had a great weekend. I went out to a singles event and won the raffle of a $250 bottle of champagne and it was great sharing it with new friends that I met there. It was a lot of fun.
I don't know what to write. I've tried several sentences and erased them all. Sunday I was not in such a good productive mood as Saturday. And Saturday all day, I was not too productive. I was watching way too much television. and procrastinating on tasks I need to do to take care of myself. Today is a new day and the start of a new week and there are many choices in everyday to take care of myself.
Love and Light.
2. My adorable job
3. My amazing creative job
4. Music, art, creativity
5. Endless possibilities in every moment
6. Completing a project
7. Abundance
8. Unconditional love
9. Divine Light
10. Community and noble friends.
I had a great weekend. I went out to a singles event and won the raffle of a $250 bottle of champagne and it was great sharing it with new friends that I met there. It was a lot of fun.
I don't know what to write. I've tried several sentences and erased them all. Sunday I was not in such a good productive mood as Saturday. And Saturday all day, I was not too productive. I was watching way too much television. and procrastinating on tasks I need to do to take care of myself. Today is a new day and the start of a new week and there are many choices in everyday to take care of myself.
Love and Light.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
6-23-11 grateful for today
1. Rental car
2. My adorable dog
3. My creative wonderful job
4. Loving connections with people
5. Infinite opportunities and choices in every moment
6. Coffee
7. Unconditional love
8. Clear communication
9. Sleeping in
10. Seeing friends tonight.
Getting a rental car and signing a release for my car to go with the insurance company seemed to be more emotional and exhausting than the car accident. I believe the trauma and my emotions triggered by the accident are surfacing now, which is also leading to my exhaustion. At my core, I am pure Light and Love. I am working to not let this experience put debris around my heart. I free my Light.
Love and Light.
2. My adorable dog
3. My creative wonderful job
4. Loving connections with people
5. Infinite opportunities and choices in every moment
6. Coffee
7. Unconditional love
8. Clear communication
9. Sleeping in
10. Seeing friends tonight.
Getting a rental car and signing a release for my car to go with the insurance company seemed to be more emotional and exhausting than the car accident. I believe the trauma and my emotions triggered by the accident are surfacing now, which is also leading to my exhaustion. At my core, I am pure Light and Love. I am working to not let this experience put debris around my heart. I free my Light.
Love and Light.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
6-22-11 grateful for today
1. My life and health
2. My adorable dog
3. Public buses
4. Life experiences
5. All my emotions
6. My job doing what I love
7. Creativity and expression
8. Music
9. Unconditional love
10. Guidance
I was in a car accident on Monday. I am okay and the other driver involved is okay. My car is undrivable and I've been taking the bus to work. It's very interesting that my last post I gave the example that "even when something material is taken away, I am given that experience if I feel it fully." Well, I've been avoiding feeling my emotions about losing my car. My brain has been running frantically making plans, schemes, analyzing, and figuring out what to do. My heart needs to feel. Emotions are climbing their way up within me and I feel tears at my eyes. I am at work and I am alive and I am a human and I am feeling.
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. Public buses
4. Life experiences
5. All my emotions
6. My job doing what I love
7. Creativity and expression
8. Music
9. Unconditional love
10. Guidance
I was in a car accident on Monday. I am okay and the other driver involved is okay. My car is undrivable and I've been taking the bus to work. It's very interesting that my last post I gave the example that "even when something material is taken away, I am given that experience if I feel it fully." Well, I've been avoiding feeling my emotions about losing my car. My brain has been running frantically making plans, schemes, analyzing, and figuring out what to do. My heart needs to feel. Emotions are climbing their way up within me and I feel tears at my eyes. I am at work and I am alive and I am a human and I am feeling.
Love and light.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
6-18-11 grateful for today
1. Tai chi
2. Breathing
3. My adorable dog
4. Time to spend at home
5. Taking care of myself
6. New connections and being open
7. My family
8. My community
9. A place of my own
10. Unconditional love
I am at peace today. I receive all that is given to me. I realized over the last weekend that everything that happens to me in my life is a gift. Every experience is deep and full of feeling and meaning. Every experience is what's given to me. Even painful experiences, being harmed or violated is giving me an experience deep and full. When material things are lost or taken away, I still receive an experience. I am given that.
Another way to look at it is a story of myself as an 8 year old girl. We lived in farm country and Hogan's Heroes was the popular show then. One day in the summer, I took a shovel and a pick axe and went about 100 yards into the back yard where it was more field than yard and I started digging. I had a lot of energy all bottled up, a lot of emotion bottled up. I was digging a tunnel. An escape tunnel. I spent my days devising escape routes and plans. My childhood had terror and abuse in it, and I kept looking for ways to escape. Now as an adult looking back, I can see how my looking for escape only showed me how trapped I was. I was a little kid, I wasn't able to fully process or feel what was happening to me at the time. Over last weekend I was able to fully feel and receive my painful childhood abuse. And in receiving I find peace.
I am excited for all the millions of experiences I have yet to experience, painful, joyful, everything full of life. I receive and I am at peace.
Love and Light.
2. Breathing
3. My adorable dog
4. Time to spend at home
5. Taking care of myself
6. New connections and being open
7. My family
8. My community
9. A place of my own
10. Unconditional love
I am at peace today. I receive all that is given to me. I realized over the last weekend that everything that happens to me in my life is a gift. Every experience is deep and full of feeling and meaning. Every experience is what's given to me. Even painful experiences, being harmed or violated is giving me an experience deep and full. When material things are lost or taken away, I still receive an experience. I am given that.
Another way to look at it is a story of myself as an 8 year old girl. We lived in farm country and Hogan's Heroes was the popular show then. One day in the summer, I took a shovel and a pick axe and went about 100 yards into the back yard where it was more field than yard and I started digging. I had a lot of energy all bottled up, a lot of emotion bottled up. I was digging a tunnel. An escape tunnel. I spent my days devising escape routes and plans. My childhood had terror and abuse in it, and I kept looking for ways to escape. Now as an adult looking back, I can see how my looking for escape only showed me how trapped I was. I was a little kid, I wasn't able to fully process or feel what was happening to me at the time. Over last weekend I was able to fully feel and receive my painful childhood abuse. And in receiving I find peace.
I am excited for all the millions of experiences I have yet to experience, painful, joyful, everything full of life. I receive and I am at peace.
Love and Light.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
6-16-11 grateful for today
1. Personal growth retreat last weekend
2. Unconditional love
3. Holding sacred space
4. My adorable dog
5. My career of passion that I love
6. Open and free
7. Happy Hour
8. Honoring what I have received in my life
9. People and Divine Light in each and every one
10. Joy
When I truly love and accept and honor myself and everything that goes with myself: my past, memories, feelings, reactions, actions, then I love my day and what is happening no matter what it is. I can be hurting and love and honor my experience and feelings knowing that this experience is tranforming me deeply. When I allow it. I find meaning in my life and joy in others and the paths of all life. Life is exciting and not knowing what is going to happen next is savory.
Love and light.
2. Unconditional love
3. Holding sacred space
4. My adorable dog
5. My career of passion that I love
6. Open and free
7. Happy Hour
8. Honoring what I have received in my life
9. People and Divine Light in each and every one
10. Joy
When I truly love and accept and honor myself and everything that goes with myself: my past, memories, feelings, reactions, actions, then I love my day and what is happening no matter what it is. I can be hurting and love and honor my experience and feelings knowing that this experience is tranforming me deeply. When I allow it. I find meaning in my life and joy in others and the paths of all life. Life is exciting and not knowing what is going to happen next is savory.
Love and light.
Friday, June 10, 2011
6-10-11 grateful for today
1. Community
2. Unconditional love
3. Life experiences
4. Endless possibilities in every moment
5. My adorable dog
6. All of my emotions
7. Personal growth and deeper spiritual meaning
8. Divine light
9. Arfington Resorts
10. Trust and Faith
(I was interrupted and didn't have time to put my thoughts down for this day)
Love and Light.
2. Unconditional love
3. Life experiences
4. Endless possibilities in every moment
5. My adorable dog
6. All of my emotions
7. Personal growth and deeper spiritual meaning
8. Divine light
9. Arfington Resorts
10. Trust and Faith
(I was interrupted and didn't have time to put my thoughts down for this day)
Love and Light.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
6-9-11 grateful for today
1. Asking for help
2. My large king size bed where I can sleep sideways
3. My adorable dog
4. Unlimited abundance of life
5. Feeling my emotions deeply
6. Being a part of the mystery of life
7. Breathing
8. Unconditional love
9. Learning new things
10. Courage
Yesterday I realized that I had enclosed myself yet again inside walls I built, illusions I told myself were truths. I realized that I was trapped again, trapped myself and desperately looking for escape and seeing how incredibly trapped I was (am). With help, I was able to see how I created my own trap for myself. I could see how looking for escape was an illusion I created to only see how trapped I was. There is no escape to look for when I realize that I'm free to begin with. Rationally this all sounds very good and sounds like I've gotten myself free from my trap. However, I'm skipping by and ignoring my feeligns, which are the foundation and building blocks of my trap. I need to feel, truly feel completely trapped and express that to truly open my heart and be free. Planning that work for tonight.
Love and light.
2. My large king size bed where I can sleep sideways
3. My adorable dog
4. Unlimited abundance of life
5. Feeling my emotions deeply
6. Being a part of the mystery of life
7. Breathing
8. Unconditional love
9. Learning new things
10. Courage
Yesterday I realized that I had enclosed myself yet again inside walls I built, illusions I told myself were truths. I realized that I was trapped again, trapped myself and desperately looking for escape and seeing how incredibly trapped I was (am). With help, I was able to see how I created my own trap for myself. I could see how looking for escape was an illusion I created to only see how trapped I was. There is no escape to look for when I realize that I'm free to begin with. Rationally this all sounds very good and sounds like I've gotten myself free from my trap. However, I'm skipping by and ignoring my feeligns, which are the foundation and building blocks of my trap. I need to feel, truly feel completely trapped and express that to truly open my heart and be free. Planning that work for tonight.
Love and light.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
6-7-11 grateful for today
1. My brothers
2. My adorable dog
3. My mastermind group
4. Meditation
5. Chanting and music
6. Creative talents and abilities
7. Learning to work as part of a team
8. Unconditional love
9. Endless possibilities in every moment
10. Change
I had a good day today. And a good weekend. It's late and I'm tired.
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. My mastermind group
4. Meditation
5. Chanting and music
6. Creative talents and abilities
7. Learning to work as part of a team
8. Unconditional love
9. Endless possibilities in every moment
10. Change
I had a good day today. And a good weekend. It's late and I'm tired.
Love and light.
Friday, June 3, 2011
6-3-11 grateful for today
1. My tires blowing out last night
2. Helpful people and friends and friends dads
3. My adorable dog
4. Meat
5. Unconditional love
6. My creative abilities and talents
7. Allowing my soul to create
8. An evening with nothing planned
9. Sleeping well last night
10. My comfy sweatshirt jacket.
I am grateful my tires blew out last night and that I was able to get two new ones this morning. I am driving a long way tomorrow by myself and I'm grateful this happened where I had time and friends nearby to help take care of it, rather than it happening on the long lonely road. Most of my list I'm grateful about simple things. Like my jacket. Wearing a jacket indoors? you ask. I'm working in an office where the AC is cranked for all the electronic equipment and I'm grateful to feeling toasty in my jacket. This is also my favorite jacket where I feel most at home and comfy.
Love and light.
2. Helpful people and friends and friends dads
3. My adorable dog
4. Meat
5. Unconditional love
6. My creative abilities and talents
7. Allowing my soul to create
8. An evening with nothing planned
9. Sleeping well last night
10. My comfy sweatshirt jacket.
I am grateful my tires blew out last night and that I was able to get two new ones this morning. I am driving a long way tomorrow by myself and I'm grateful this happened where I had time and friends nearby to help take care of it, rather than it happening on the long lonely road. Most of my list I'm grateful about simple things. Like my jacket. Wearing a jacket indoors? you ask. I'm working in an office where the AC is cranked for all the electronic equipment and I'm grateful to feeling toasty in my jacket. This is also my favorite jacket where I feel most at home and comfy.
Love and light.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
6-2-11 grateful for today
1. Waking up naturally
2. Unconditional love
3. Openness
4. Showering and cleaning
5. Chanting and drumming and music
6. This day abundant with possibilities
7. Ocean waves
8. Cool breezes
9. Honoring my emotions and the emotions of others
10. Holding space for myself
I'm relaxed today. I wonder if I can relax into being who I am. I buried my true self so long long ago. I've been actively digging to find it, to reveal parts of me. I wonder if I relax my true self will have the strength to emerge.
Love and light.
2. Unconditional love
3. Openness
4. Showering and cleaning
5. Chanting and drumming and music
6. This day abundant with possibilities
7. Ocean waves
8. Cool breezes
9. Honoring my emotions and the emotions of others
10. Holding space for myself
I'm relaxed today. I wonder if I can relax into being who I am. I buried my true self so long long ago. I've been actively digging to find it, to reveal parts of me. I wonder if I relax my true self will have the strength to emerge.
Love and light.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
6-1-11 grateful for today
1. A productive morning
2. My adorable dog
3. Organization
4. Unconditional love
5. Abundance
6. Human connection and sharing
7. Sleeping in
8. Openness
9. Feeling safe
10. Music
I found it hard to come up with this list today. Which is strange because I've had a wonderful morning and lots of time and accomplishing things. I've had a wonderful weekend and yesterday was great too. I've been having a lot of good days. So I find it strange that I would have trouble coming up with 10 things. I think I'm taking myself too literally. Like Monday the ocean waves were gorgeous and so much fun to play in, but that was Monday, not today, Wednesday. I can only put things on my list that have happened today. Which is a load of crap. It's my list, I may feel grateful today for something that happened a long time ago. I am grateful TODAY for it. So, it gets to go on my list. I need to get out of my head and let my heart speak. Task for today.
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. Organization
4. Unconditional love
5. Abundance
6. Human connection and sharing
7. Sleeping in
8. Openness
9. Feeling safe
10. Music
I found it hard to come up with this list today. Which is strange because I've had a wonderful morning and lots of time and accomplishing things. I've had a wonderful weekend and yesterday was great too. I've been having a lot of good days. So I find it strange that I would have trouble coming up with 10 things. I think I'm taking myself too literally. Like Monday the ocean waves were gorgeous and so much fun to play in, but that was Monday, not today, Wednesday. I can only put things on my list that have happened today. Which is a load of crap. It's my list, I may feel grateful today for something that happened a long time ago. I am grateful TODAY for it. So, it gets to go on my list. I need to get out of my head and let my heart speak. Task for today.
Love and light.
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