1. Starting my new career of passion
2. Sunrise
3. Extra time in the morning
4. Chanting & meditating
5. My adorable dog
6. My car running well
7. Letting go of my old job with love
8. My computer running well
9. Endless opportunities
10. Choices
I'm so excited to start my new job doing what I love to do. I'm a little nervous stepping out into the unknown, I don't know where my desk will be, I have a general idea of what I'll be doing, but not the details of the workflow. I'll be learning many new things. My usual behavior when I'm feeling "stage fright" is to be very sleepy and take a nap. I'm glad that I am starting later than my last job so that I have an extra hour in the morning to get myself together and centered.
My last job had a going away party for me and I was thrilled and my heart touched with love and joy that all these engineers stood up and held hands in a circle for me. That was the best gift they gave me. I am so grateful for all of them doing that.
Love and light.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
1-20-11 grateful for today
1. Vivid dreams
2. My adorable dog
3. Writing in my journal
4. Relaxing morning
5. Chanting
6. Meditating
7. Running errands
8. Farmer's Market
9. Time
10. Unconditional love
Sunday today. Had a dream last night that I could float above everything. That a push off from the earth and then float and direct myself by thought where I wanted to be. It was tricky, though. If I let my fear of floating out into space with no control overtake me then I would come back to the earth or not be able to leave it. If I let my fear of being pulled to the earth or not able to let go of it, I would not be able to leave it. I needed to trust, trust my ability to float and let go.
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. Writing in my journal
4. Relaxing morning
5. Chanting
6. Meditating
7. Running errands
8. Farmer's Market
9. Time
10. Unconditional love
Sunday today. Had a dream last night that I could float above everything. That a push off from the earth and then float and direct myself by thought where I wanted to be. It was tricky, though. If I let my fear of floating out into space with no control overtake me then I would come back to the earth or not be able to leave it. If I let my fear of being pulled to the earth or not able to let go of it, I would not be able to leave it. I needed to trust, trust my ability to float and let go.
Love and light.
Friday, March 18, 2011
3-18-11 grateful for today
1. A good night's sleep
2. My adorable dog
3. Friday
4. Accomplishments
5. Choices
6. Held by god always
7. All my emotions
8. Unconditional love
9. Cool breezes through the trees
10. Sunrise
Quick note as I am running late and need to get off to work. I realize that my strength is in feeling my way through my experiences. Not to have it all figured out before I go into it. Not to back away from the experience because I will have feelings. But to be in my experience and feel all my emotions however they come up. I am a spiritual being having human experiences.
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. Friday
4. Accomplishments
5. Choices
6. Held by god always
7. All my emotions
8. Unconditional love
9. Cool breezes through the trees
10. Sunrise
Quick note as I am running late and need to get off to work. I realize that my strength is in feeling my way through my experiences. Not to have it all figured out before I go into it. Not to back away from the experience because I will have feelings. But to be in my experience and feel all my emotions however they come up. I am a spiritual being having human experiences.
Love and light.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
3-17-11 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Chanting
3. Acceptance
4. My movie playing at the Bare Bones Film Festival
5. My car running well
6. Ease of transitioning
7. Music
8. Love and laughter
9. My computer running well
10. Being held by god.
Feeling grateful is my choice. When I don't feel grateful about anything and I struggle coming up with 10 things, I've found that sometimes I put things on my list that I don't feel grateful for at that moment, yet I have the desire to. Stating it that I am grateful helps the gratitude to grow in me. I need to be willing to make my choice to be grateful. Even if I'm not sure that I have what I'm grateful for. I must be grateful because I choose to be.
Love and light.
2. Chanting
3. Acceptance
4. My movie playing at the Bare Bones Film Festival
5. My car running well
6. Ease of transitioning
7. Music
8. Love and laughter
9. My computer running well
10. Being held by god.
Feeling grateful is my choice. When I don't feel grateful about anything and I struggle coming up with 10 things, I've found that sometimes I put things on my list that I don't feel grateful for at that moment, yet I have the desire to. Stating it that I am grateful helps the gratitude to grow in me. I need to be willing to make my choice to be grateful. Even if I'm not sure that I have what I'm grateful for. I must be grateful because I choose to be.
Love and light.
3-15-11 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Breathing
3. My car running well
4. Therapy session
5. Choices
6. My secretary job coming to an end
7. Trees, grass, rocks, earth, nature
8. Doing my best
9. Adriana
10. Love and light
A very hard time coming up with this list. I don't want to feel grateful about anything. I'm hurting and in pain. I need to acknowledge and feel my hurt and paid and I need to hold my wound in the light. I want help and others to hold me. I want my pain and hurt to be held and acknowledged by those who love me.
"God will only open the door if you take the risk to start walking towards it while it's closed."
Love and light.
2. Breathing
3. My car running well
4. Therapy session
5. Choices
6. My secretary job coming to an end
7. Trees, grass, rocks, earth, nature
8. Doing my best
9. Adriana
10. Love and light
A very hard time coming up with this list. I don't want to feel grateful about anything. I'm hurting and in pain. I need to acknowledge and feel my hurt and paid and I need to hold my wound in the light. I want help and others to hold me. I want my pain and hurt to be held and acknowledged by those who love me.
"God will only open the door if you take the risk to start walking towards it while it's closed."
Love and light.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
3-13-11 grateful for today
1. My Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)
2. Acceptance
3. My adorable dog
4. Unconditional love
5. Meditation
6. Chanting
7. Music
8. Video production
9. Play
10. Rest
I am full of gratitude today. I have some respite from the spiritual/emotional work I have been doing. The work I need to do is still there waiting for me. I am grateful for the work to do, and I'm grateful for much needed rest, support, and reflection today. I finished 4 intense days of working 14 hours a day, not including travel time and personal times to take care of my needs, so many 4 or 5 hour sleep at night. The first day was emotional/spiritual work and then I was shooting an intense event for a charismatic church. I am grateful for that opportunity and I feel I was led to shoot that event to know that I am a Quaker. My Quaker group has put forth the query to make me an official member and I had been wishy washy, now I know for sure, I am a Quaker.
Love and light.
2. Acceptance
3. My adorable dog
4. Unconditional love
5. Meditation
6. Chanting
7. Music
8. Video production
9. Play
10. Rest
I am full of gratitude today. I have some respite from the spiritual/emotional work I have been doing. The work I need to do is still there waiting for me. I am grateful for the work to do, and I'm grateful for much needed rest, support, and reflection today. I finished 4 intense days of working 14 hours a day, not including travel time and personal times to take care of my needs, so many 4 or 5 hour sleep at night. The first day was emotional/spiritual work and then I was shooting an intense event for a charismatic church. I am grateful for that opportunity and I feel I was led to shoot that event to know that I am a Quaker. My Quaker group has put forth the query to make me an official member and I had been wishy washy, now I know for sure, I am a Quaker.
Love and light.
Friday, March 11, 2011
3-11-11 grateful for today
1. An all day video shoot
2. Meditation
3. Chanting
4. My adorable dog
5. My creative abilities and talents
6. A good sleep
7. Light
8. Unconditional love
9. Opportunities every day to start fresh
10. Breath
A short note as I need to get going. I'm working a church even shooting their video all day. Shooting video is my passion. I love it, I guess that is my religion.
Love and light.
2. Meditation
3. Chanting
4. My adorable dog
5. My creative abilities and talents
6. A good sleep
7. Light
8. Unconditional love
9. Opportunities every day to start fresh
10. Breath
A short note as I need to get going. I'm working a church even shooting their video all day. Shooting video is my passion. I love it, I guess that is my religion.
Love and light.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
3-9-11 grateful for today
1. Confirmation on my new video production job
2. New beginnings
3. Conscious Community
4. Freedom
5. Choices
6. Experiences
7. Emotions
8. My creative talents and abilities
9. Abundance
10. Unconditional love
This list came very fast today. I could go on and on about what I'm grateful about. I have confirmation that I have the video production job I interviewed for. I am putting in my two weeks notice to my job today and will start my career of choice, well continue my career of choice in a much higher capacity in two weeks. I am so happy and excited. I felt a veil of despair lift from me and I can see my life so much more clearly. Interesting that I see my path, my future more clearly. I truly feel that I was off my path (career-wise) for several years. I've stepped back onto it.
Love and light.
2. New beginnings
3. Conscious Community
4. Freedom
5. Choices
6. Experiences
7. Emotions
8. My creative talents and abilities
9. Abundance
10. Unconditional love
This list came very fast today. I could go on and on about what I'm grateful about. I have confirmation that I have the video production job I interviewed for. I am putting in my two weeks notice to my job today and will start my career of choice, well continue my career of choice in a much higher capacity in two weeks. I am so happy and excited. I felt a veil of despair lift from me and I can see my life so much more clearly. Interesting that I see my path, my future more clearly. I truly feel that I was off my path (career-wise) for several years. I've stepped back onto it.
Love and light.
Monday, March 7, 2011
3-7-11 grateful for today
1. Water
2. Chanting
3. Breathing
4. My adorable dog
5. Noble friends
6. My car running well
7. Choices
8. The sun
9. Nature
10. Feeling rested
I had a wonderful reunion with great friends yesterday. I realized that I was the one making myself feel left out. It was when the food was brought out and everybody was sitting around the appetizers, I felt myself slipping away. Sitting in the background struggling to be present. After the lunch and the people were finished with their deserts did I finally feel present and part of the group. It was only me, my issues with food keeping me from feeling a part of. I've had a lot of shame since then. I've been trying to use the tools I've learned and I struggle with it. Last night I hated my mouth. And this morning I don't want to think and plan what I'm going to have for lunch and dinner, oh, I need to eat breakfast. I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe. I'm in this present moment and my feelings of shame belong in the past.
Love and light.
2. Chanting
3. Breathing
4. My adorable dog
5. Noble friends
6. My car running well
7. Choices
8. The sun
9. Nature
10. Feeling rested
I had a wonderful reunion with great friends yesterday. I realized that I was the one making myself feel left out. It was when the food was brought out and everybody was sitting around the appetizers, I felt myself slipping away. Sitting in the background struggling to be present. After the lunch and the people were finished with their deserts did I finally feel present and part of the group. It was only me, my issues with food keeping me from feeling a part of. I've had a lot of shame since then. I've been trying to use the tools I've learned and I struggle with it. Last night I hated my mouth. And this morning I don't want to think and plan what I'm going to have for lunch and dinner, oh, I need to eat breakfast. I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe. I'm in this present moment and my feelings of shame belong in the past.
Love and light.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
3-5-11 grateful for today
1. Movies
2. My voice
3. My adorable dog
4. My creative talents and abilities
5. My emotions
6. Rain
7. Unconditional love
8. Choices
9. Practice
10. Sharing
I watched a beautiful movie today, "Speak" about date rape in high school and one girl's struggle to overcome her shame keeping her from speaking out for a school year. I had seen the movie before and liked it, and this is one movie that is emotionally hard for me to watch. Odd, that in this society something that evokes hurt, emotional hurt we say is hard. This is one movie that brings up emotional hurt in myself. I realized that every story is beautiful. Each person's story of truth is beautiful and all the emotions within it. My story of truth is beautiful, and all the hurt and pain within it. My life is very full, and there are parts of it that I am ashamed to speak about.
Love and light.
2. My voice
3. My adorable dog
4. My creative talents and abilities
5. My emotions
6. Rain
7. Unconditional love
8. Choices
9. Practice
10. Sharing
I watched a beautiful movie today, "Speak" about date rape in high school and one girl's struggle to overcome her shame keeping her from speaking out for a school year. I had seen the movie before and liked it, and this is one movie that is emotionally hard for me to watch. Odd, that in this society something that evokes hurt, emotional hurt we say is hard. This is one movie that brings up emotional hurt in myself. I realized that every story is beautiful. Each person's story of truth is beautiful and all the emotions within it. My story of truth is beautiful, and all the hurt and pain within it. My life is very full, and there are parts of it that I am ashamed to speak about.
Love and light.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
3-3-11 grateful for today
1. Chanting
2. Drumming
3. Community
4. Unconditional love
5. My adorable dog
6. Endless possibilities
7. Holding in the Light
8. Connecting within daily
9. Breathe
10. The sun.
I am very happy and filled with love. I've got to get to work.
Love and light.
2. Drumming
3. Community
4. Unconditional love
5. My adorable dog
6. Endless possibilities
7. Holding in the Light
8. Connecting within daily
9. Breathe
10. The sun.
I am very happy and filled with love. I've got to get to work.
Love and light.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
3-2-11 grateful for today
1. Chanting
2. Music
3. Unconditional love and compassion
4. My adorable dog
5. Community
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. My car running well
8. Happiness and joy
9. Trees, animals and nature
10. Growth
Yesterday I stopped to get gas and the young kid on the opposite side of the pump was having trouble. He asked me for money. Me from the past would have said no based on my own illusions of lack, then recently I would have said no because I rarely carry cash with me. Yesterday I had cash in my pocket and I gave him $6 with love. As I was pulling out of the station, I knew I was in shock. I still have issues of going into shock when strangers come up to me and talk. I functioned okay, I gave some money and mumbled about three words. As I was driving, this is how I wish I was able to connect after he asked me for money: "My name is Cathy, what's yours?" "Good to meet you, ______. Here is $6 with love."
I felt good driving out of the station. Feeling love as I helped it flow along today. I sent much love to the dude and his journey as I drove home.
Love and light.
2. Music
3. Unconditional love and compassion
4. My adorable dog
5. Community
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. My car running well
8. Happiness and joy
9. Trees, animals and nature
10. Growth
Yesterday I stopped to get gas and the young kid on the opposite side of the pump was having trouble. He asked me for money. Me from the past would have said no based on my own illusions of lack, then recently I would have said no because I rarely carry cash with me. Yesterday I had cash in my pocket and I gave him $6 with love. As I was pulling out of the station, I knew I was in shock. I still have issues of going into shock when strangers come up to me and talk. I functioned okay, I gave some money and mumbled about three words. As I was driving, this is how I wish I was able to connect after he asked me for money: "My name is Cathy, what's yours?" "Good to meet you, ______. Here is $6 with love."
I felt good driving out of the station. Feeling love as I helped it flow along today. I sent much love to the dude and his journey as I drove home.
Love and light.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
3-1-11 grateful for today
1. Practice
2. My adorable dog
3. My car running well
4. Exciting possibilities
5. Change
6. Choices
7. Chanting and meditating
8. Holding others in the Light
9. Unconditional love especially for myself today
10. Perseverance
Short note this morning as I need to get off to work soon and I need to eat my breakfast. I am alive and experiencing life. I'm practicing eating with love and safety.
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. My car running well
4. Exciting possibilities
5. Change
6. Choices
7. Chanting and meditating
8. Holding others in the Light
9. Unconditional love especially for myself today
10. Perseverance
Short note this morning as I need to get off to work soon and I need to eat my breakfast. I am alive and experiencing life. I'm practicing eating with love and safety.
Love and light.
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