1. Opportunity to change my life in the form of a job interview today
2. Movies
3. My adorable dog
4. Sleeping and dreaming
5. Unconditional love
6. The choice to always come back to the present moment
7. My creative abilities and talents
8. Sunrise
9. Breath of life
10. Embracing the unknown and letting go
Movies are absolutely wonderful. I love movies. I watch some and they touch me very deeply, show me my faults and frailties, teach me about myself. I allow the movie to change me. I watch some others and I'm disconnected from myself, from this world. I escape and shut down. I am obsessed and can't turn off the TV.
I am learning the difference of how I feel before I start to watch. I am becoming aware of my intention. Is my intention to watch the movie? or is my intention to avoid my own life? Even when my intention is to avoid my own life, there are still messages and insights I'm touched by the movies I watch. The difference is that I fight against allowing them to touch and change me.
I love to make movies. The ones that change me as I'm making them are precious to me and seem to be the ones that touch/change others the most.
Love and light.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
1-30-11 grateful for today
1. video editing
2. Friends meeting
3. My adorable dog
4. Chanting
5. Meditating
6. Living life in my own time and space
7. French toast
8. Endless opportunities and choices
9. Taking risks, moving forward
10. Unconditional love
My dog is so cute and adorable. Every morning he does something that makes me smile or laugh. He is quick to play and has no embarrassment to sleep in the middle of the day when he is tired. He has a high pitched chirping bark that he uses when he wants something and he has no shame in asking for what he wants. Knowing what he wants is a whole different story. I have no idea most of the time.
Love and light.
2. Friends meeting
3. My adorable dog
4. Chanting
5. Meditating
6. Living life in my own time and space
7. French toast
8. Endless opportunities and choices
9. Taking risks, moving forward
10. Unconditional love
My dog is so cute and adorable. Every morning he does something that makes me smile or laugh. He is quick to play and has no embarrassment to sleep in the middle of the day when he is tired. He has a high pitched chirping bark that he uses when he wants something and he has no shame in asking for what he wants. Knowing what he wants is a whole different story. I have no idea most of the time.
Love and light.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
1-27-11 grateful for today
1. the cool weather
2. my adorable dog
3. Tears
4. understanding
5. unconditional love
6. opportunities
7. belief and trust in myself and others
8. the Light/Great Spirit/God
9. reaching out
10. choices
I had a hard time coming up with this list today. From about 4 down, those were things I had a hard time seeing for myself. I can regurgitate what I have put before for my list and sometimes that is helpful for me to see it again. Today, I need to be able to see these things now as I'm rather upset with myself. I'm not seeing myself as a divine light or even worth the breath I'm breathing.
Love and light.
2. my adorable dog
3. Tears
4. understanding
5. unconditional love
6. opportunities
7. belief and trust in myself and others
8. the Light/Great Spirit/God
9. reaching out
10. choices
I had a hard time coming up with this list today. From about 4 down, those were things I had a hard time seeing for myself. I can regurgitate what I have put before for my list and sometimes that is helpful for me to see it again. Today, I need to be able to see these things now as I'm rather upset with myself. I'm not seeing myself as a divine light or even worth the breath I'm breathing.
Love and light.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
1-26-11 grateful for today
1. Life and Breath of Life
2. Spiritual Being
3. Amazement and wonderment
4. My present moment
5. My path unfolding perfectly
6. My adorable dog
7. My car running well
8. My creative gifts and talents
9. Friends
10. Sleeping through the night
I am a spiritual being having a human experience. When I am aware of my spiritual being I love wholly and unconditionally. I see each person as an amazing man or woman and I am filled with wonderment. My human experience, I feel my joy, sorrow, pain, anger, fear, and shame. When I allow myself to move through them and truly feel them through, I learn my lesson and touch Spirit. when I deny my human experience (something I have been trained my whole life to do) then I suffer. Everything is a circle. Once I reach touching Spirit, I don't stay there for I am still here on this earth and the cycle repeats.
I have been suffering. I have been doubting my ability to truly go into my feelings and through them.
Love and light.
2. Spiritual Being
3. Amazement and wonderment
4. My present moment
5. My path unfolding perfectly
6. My adorable dog
7. My car running well
8. My creative gifts and talents
9. Friends
10. Sleeping through the night
I am a spiritual being having a human experience. When I am aware of my spiritual being I love wholly and unconditionally. I see each person as an amazing man or woman and I am filled with wonderment. My human experience, I feel my joy, sorrow, pain, anger, fear, and shame. When I allow myself to move through them and truly feel them through, I learn my lesson and touch Spirit. when I deny my human experience (something I have been trained my whole life to do) then I suffer. Everything is a circle. Once I reach touching Spirit, I don't stay there for I am still here on this earth and the cycle repeats.
I have been suffering. I have been doubting my ability to truly go into my feelings and through them.
Love and light.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
1-25-11 grateful for today
1. My car running well
2. My adorable dog
3. Unconditional love
4. Holding space
5. Amazement and wonderment
6. Wind
7. Birds and trees
8. Endless possibilities
9. I choose
10. Warmth
I wrote the list at work this morning because I snoozed my alarm for an hour and a half. So, I had a very shortened morning. I had a hard time writing the list too. I put "I choose" on there and I seem to get myself in trouble with that one. One thing is that I choose to waste my evening on mindless tv and and I choose to beat myself up for not doing the tasks I had so much energy to do while I was at work. Ah well, I have the opportunity to choose to clean the kitchen, or read some uplifting material, or to process some emotions that have become jammed up in me. Yes, avoiding emotions, that's what all my tv watching and eating is. *sigh*
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. Unconditional love
4. Holding space
5. Amazement and wonderment
6. Wind
7. Birds and trees
8. Endless possibilities
9. I choose
10. Warmth
I wrote the list at work this morning because I snoozed my alarm for an hour and a half. So, I had a very shortened morning. I had a hard time writing the list too. I put "I choose" on there and I seem to get myself in trouble with that one. One thing is that I choose to waste my evening on mindless tv and and I choose to beat myself up for not doing the tasks I had so much energy to do while I was at work. Ah well, I have the opportunity to choose to clean the kitchen, or read some uplifting material, or to process some emotions that have become jammed up in me. Yes, avoiding emotions, that's what all my tv watching and eating is. *sigh*
Love and light.
Monday, January 24, 2011
1-24-11 grateful for today
1. Awareness
2. Unconditional love
3. My adorable dog
4. Healthy processing
5. Endless possibilities
6. Choosing
7. Amazing friends
8. My creativity and talents
9. The cool weather
10. A relaxed morning.
I am grateful for awareness. Not only for my growth and knowing that I am acting and reacting in more healthy ways. But also for awareness of things I don't like about myself. I am so used to not looking at those ways I am unhealthy, mean, or ugly, that sometimes it takes a noble friend to tell me what they see. And for me to be totally open to hearing. Sometimes a seed gets through, I hear, but I don't listen, I am unable to listen at that moment. So the seed is there waiting for me to listen while I battle my self-judgment and my illusions of perfectionism. Then I reach a state of quiet acceptance and listen and become aware of my behavior pattern, my belief system that I had been denying. At this point, I am able to choose to change it. My process and struggle with emotions is not over at the point of choosing because then I face risk of doing/behaving/believing something new. The risk of stepping into the "I don't know what's going to happen". I guess even this last step will become easier and easier with practice. For now, I know I need to honor my feelings, feel them completely and step into the risk anyway. This is living life.
2. Unconditional love
3. My adorable dog
4. Healthy processing
5. Endless possibilities
6. Choosing
7. Amazing friends
8. My creativity and talents
9. The cool weather
10. A relaxed morning.
I am grateful for awareness. Not only for my growth and knowing that I am acting and reacting in more healthy ways. But also for awareness of things I don't like about myself. I am so used to not looking at those ways I am unhealthy, mean, or ugly, that sometimes it takes a noble friend to tell me what they see. And for me to be totally open to hearing. Sometimes a seed gets through, I hear, but I don't listen, I am unable to listen at that moment. So the seed is there waiting for me to listen while I battle my self-judgment and my illusions of perfectionism. Then I reach a state of quiet acceptance and listen and become aware of my behavior pattern, my belief system that I had been denying. At this point, I am able to choose to change it. My process and struggle with emotions is not over at the point of choosing because then I face risk of doing/behaving/believing something new. The risk of stepping into the "I don't know what's going to happen". I guess even this last step will become easier and easier with practice. For now, I know I need to honor my feelings, feel them completely and step into the risk anyway. This is living life.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
1-23-11 grateful for today
1. My loving adorable dog
2. Change and opportunities to change
3. Quaker meeting
4. Sharing honest feelings with Friends
5. Pumpkin bread
6. Unconditional love
7. Feeling as a whole part of something greater
8. My creative talents and abilities
9. Endless possibilities
10. The wonderful cold weather!
Chaplin has jumped up and is between my back and the back of the chair. I have always loved when he does this. It's been a bit awkward ever since I got a king size bed as I haven't moved my desk and there's not much room for the chair, let alone me and the dog, between the desk and the chair. It's time for some movement of energy. Time for a big move of energy. I think all of my furniture needs to move around. Create some new energy in here. It is possible that I projecting my inner energetic need for a big move onto my physical outer space. Or it could be that I have already shifted inside in a big way and I need to reflect it in my space. Or it's possible that both are interconnected and will shift and move simultaneous. I don't have the answers. I don't know when I'm going to move everything around.
Love and light.
2. Change and opportunities to change
3. Quaker meeting
4. Sharing honest feelings with Friends
5. Pumpkin bread
6. Unconditional love
7. Feeling as a whole part of something greater
8. My creative talents and abilities
9. Endless possibilities
10. The wonderful cold weather!
Chaplin has jumped up and is between my back and the back of the chair. I have always loved when he does this. It's been a bit awkward ever since I got a king size bed as I haven't moved my desk and there's not much room for the chair, let alone me and the dog, between the desk and the chair. It's time for some movement of energy. Time for a big move of energy. I think all of my furniture needs to move around. Create some new energy in here. It is possible that I projecting my inner energetic need for a big move onto my physical outer space. Or it could be that I have already shifted inside in a big way and I need to reflect it in my space. Or it's possible that both are interconnected and will shift and move simultaneous. I don't have the answers. I don't know when I'm going to move everything around.
Love and light.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
1-22-11 grateful for today
1. Qi Gung/Tai Chi class
2. My adorable dog
3. Connecting with people
4. Accomplishment
5. Dreaming
6. Unconditional Love
7. Cool foggy weather
8. Sleeping all through the night
9. Insight and awareness
10. That my shower still works
I wrote the list above than ran off to Tai Chi class. Now I'm back and gathering my thoughts. I am okay right where I am. Some future possibilities have shifted. I did not get the job in Denver that I had applied for, and my best friend and her family had to cancel their trip to come down and see me. I felt sad for the loss of those opportunities and now (or at the same time) I am energized and hopeful about new opportunities to present, or for me to create. The world is open . . . . What do I want to do?
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. Connecting with people
4. Accomplishment
5. Dreaming
6. Unconditional Love
7. Cool foggy weather
8. Sleeping all through the night
9. Insight and awareness
10. That my shower still works
I wrote the list above than ran off to Tai Chi class. Now I'm back and gathering my thoughts. I am okay right where I am. Some future possibilities have shifted. I did not get the job in Denver that I had applied for, and my best friend and her family had to cancel their trip to come down and see me. I felt sad for the loss of those opportunities and now (or at the same time) I am energized and hopeful about new opportunities to present, or for me to create. The world is open . . . . What do I want to do?
Love and light.
Friday, January 21, 2011
1-21-11 grateful for today
1. Sleeping through the night
2. My adorable dog
3. Endless possibilities and choices
4. Noble friends
5. Unconditional love
6. Rain
7. My car running well
8. Connecting with people
9. My life and breath
10. Space
I have a tendency to make my world very small. So small I feel like I have no room to move around in or even think. By believing there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything, I make my world small. By only seeing despair and not seeing hope, I make my world small. By only seeing the trauma of my past and not seeing the love and beauty and joy that surrounds me now, I make my world small. By seeing my debt as large and my income as small, I make my world small. By only seeing the parking lot outside my balcony and not seeing all the world and universe, I make my world small.
I tend to make myself feel stuck. I have to stay in this job that I have because of my debt. I have to stay in Florida because I'm upside down in my condo. These are illusions. I have the opportunity and choice to quit my job today. What will I do? I don't know, I do know that I will be alive and living. Quitting my job will not kill me. Walking away from my condo and having it forclosed on will not kill me. Not paying my credit card debt will not kill me. I'm the one telling myself that I am locked into these things. I'm the one making my world small.
2. My adorable dog
3. Endless possibilities and choices
4. Noble friends
5. Unconditional love
6. Rain
7. My car running well
8. Connecting with people
9. My life and breath
10. Space
I have a tendency to make my world very small. So small I feel like I have no room to move around in or even think. By believing there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything, I make my world small. By only seeing despair and not seeing hope, I make my world small. By only seeing the trauma of my past and not seeing the love and beauty and joy that surrounds me now, I make my world small. By seeing my debt as large and my income as small, I make my world small. By only seeing the parking lot outside my balcony and not seeing all the world and universe, I make my world small.
I tend to make myself feel stuck. I have to stay in this job that I have because of my debt. I have to stay in Florida because I'm upside down in my condo. These are illusions. I have the opportunity and choice to quit my job today. What will I do? I don't know, I do know that I will be alive and living. Quitting my job will not kill me. Walking away from my condo and having it forclosed on will not kill me. Not paying my credit card debt will not kill me. I'm the one telling myself that I am locked into these things. I'm the one making my world small.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
1-18-11 grateful for today
1. Breathing clearly and easily
2. My adorable dog
3. My car running well
4. My beautiful co-workers
5. Endless possibilities
6. Unconditional love and light
7. This particular time and place
8. Wonderment and amazement
9. My creative abilities and talents
10. More than enough
There is more than enough time for everything. And I say that as I'm running a risk of running late for work. So, that's it for my extra thoughts today.
Love and light,
2. My adorable dog
3. My car running well
4. My beautiful co-workers
5. Endless possibilities
6. Unconditional love and light
7. This particular time and place
8. Wonderment and amazement
9. My creative abilities and talents
10. More than enough
There is more than enough time for everything. And I say that as I'm running a risk of running late for work. So, that's it for my extra thoughts today.
Love and light,
Monday, January 17, 2011
1-17-11 grateful for today
1. A beautiful overcast day off
2. My adorable dog
3. Unconditional love of everything
4. Cooking a turkey
5. Being truly and authentically me
6. Friends and true connections
7. Pen and paper
8. Having things right in front of me to work on
9. Endless possibility and opportunity
10. Going with the flow.
This is my 4th day off in a row and I've rested some and I've worked on some projects some. I like that. There is a part of me that is very uncomfortable with me being comfortable and taking care of myself with gentleness and love. All of this is new. I am used to punishing myself, beating myself up mentally, emotionally, and (way in the past) physically. Stopping my physical beating myself up was hard and yet the easiest as it was the easiest for me to see and identify. Mentally and emotionally has been harder for me to identify, to clearly see myself doing it. Each day I become clearer and I'm able to see myself denying my own emotions, and denying my own trust of myself. I am aware and I am grateful that I am aware. Because now I can work on what is right in front of me, changing it.
Love and light
2. My adorable dog
3. Unconditional love of everything
4. Cooking a turkey
5. Being truly and authentically me
6. Friends and true connections
7. Pen and paper
8. Having things right in front of me to work on
9. Endless possibility and opportunity
10. Going with the flow.
This is my 4th day off in a row and I've rested some and I've worked on some projects some. I like that. There is a part of me that is very uncomfortable with me being comfortable and taking care of myself with gentleness and love. All of this is new. I am used to punishing myself, beating myself up mentally, emotionally, and (way in the past) physically. Stopping my physical beating myself up was hard and yet the easiest as it was the easiest for me to see and identify. Mentally and emotionally has been harder for me to identify, to clearly see myself doing it. Each day I become clearer and I'm able to see myself denying my own emotions, and denying my own trust of myself. I am aware and I am grateful that I am aware. Because now I can work on what is right in front of me, changing it.
Love and light
Saturday, January 15, 2011
1-15-11 grateful for today
1. Tai Chi
2. Openness
3. Energy flowing
4. Change
5. Meditation
6. Chanting
7. My adorable dog
8. Sleeping
9. Clean sheets
10. Unconditional love
I made my list pretty quick trying not to think about it. I still thought about a couple of things. it was more like my fingers couldn't keep up with the items that were coming up and there was one I didn't want to let go drifting down my stream of thought. I wanted to catch it so I would stop and think about it.
I've had a chest cold for a week now. I'm tired of coughing (whether its productive or not). I know the flip side is to be grateful I have this cold for whatever lesson or gift it is trying to teach me. I don't know what it is yet, however I will stay aware. I do know I'll feel so grateful for health when it is over.
Love and light.
2. Openness
3. Energy flowing
4. Change
5. Meditation
6. Chanting
7. My adorable dog
8. Sleeping
9. Clean sheets
10. Unconditional love
I made my list pretty quick trying not to think about it. I still thought about a couple of things. it was more like my fingers couldn't keep up with the items that were coming up and there was one I didn't want to let go drifting down my stream of thought. I wanted to catch it so I would stop and think about it.
I've had a chest cold for a week now. I'm tired of coughing (whether its productive or not). I know the flip side is to be grateful I have this cold for whatever lesson or gift it is trying to teach me. I don't know what it is yet, however I will stay aware. I do know I'll feel so grateful for health when it is over.
Love and light.
Friday, January 14, 2011
1/14/11 grateful for today
1. Acupucture and my acupuncturist
2. My adorable, loving, funny dog
3. My job and especially my co-workers
4. My friends, connecting heart to heart
5. My breath
6. Chanting
7. Meditation/Prayer
8. Endless possibilities
9. Unconditional love
10. Care and gentleness
I have a new co-worker sitting next to me. I am so grateful that she came into my life and into my workplace. I have been wanting to move on from this job I have and step more fully into my life and living my passions. My new co-worker is extremely intelligent and is catching on fast, has an open loving heart, and is likable and fun. I feel as the universe has provided me with "a changing of the guard" for this job and taking care of the co-workers that I love. All transition is hard and my new co-worker is making it so much easier for me to move on.
Also, you have probably noticed my sporadic posts and long periods of silence on this blog. All I have to explain myself are excuses which are illusions covering up the deep truth that I did not believe I am good enough to have things to be grateful for. I tried to be blind and deny that I deserve unconditional love, care, and gentleness. I deserve it for myself and from myself. I have learned that for myself.
I send much unconditional love and light out into the world.
2. My adorable, loving, funny dog
3. My job and especially my co-workers
4. My friends, connecting heart to heart
5. My breath
6. Chanting
7. Meditation/Prayer
8. Endless possibilities
9. Unconditional love
10. Care and gentleness
I have a new co-worker sitting next to me. I am so grateful that she came into my life and into my workplace. I have been wanting to move on from this job I have and step more fully into my life and living my passions. My new co-worker is extremely intelligent and is catching on fast, has an open loving heart, and is likable and fun. I feel as the universe has provided me with "a changing of the guard" for this job and taking care of the co-workers that I love. All transition is hard and my new co-worker is making it so much easier for me to move on.
Also, you have probably noticed my sporadic posts and long periods of silence on this blog. All I have to explain myself are excuses which are illusions covering up the deep truth that I did not believe I am good enough to have things to be grateful for. I tried to be blind and deny that I deserve unconditional love, care, and gentleness. I deserve it for myself and from myself. I have learned that for myself.
I send much unconditional love and light out into the world.
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