1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Sleeping well
4. Choices and responsibility
5. Friends
6. Unconditional Love
7. Freedom
8. The Light
9. Breathing
10. Cool mornings.
I am ready for fall. There are some weird bugs that come out toward the end of summer here in Georgia. And after 20 years in South Florida, I am ready for fall to arrive. I did not want to go through summer again. And I realize that I had been allowing the weather to affect me. The familiar depression I was feeling in Florida has come up in me, not wanting to go outside in the sweltering heat, dreading the hot car (so I just won't go to the grocery store or the bank), not wanting to take the dog for long walks. My dog and I have not been on a hike since Memorial Day and I haven't even taken him for a long walk around the neighborhood. Not only is it hot and sticky, I also seem to walk through fine spider webs wherever I go. . . . . so, this does not sound like being grateful at all. This sounds like a whiney rant. And it is NOT the weather causing this. It is my own decision to not see the gorgeous blue sky, to enjoy the beautiful cool breeze this morning and last night, to enjoy the thunderstorms and rain. I am always my choice. Love and Light.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Saturday, August 23, 2014
8-23-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Saturday! (and air conditioning)
4. Endless possibilities in every moment
5. Choices and responsibilities
6. Unconditional Love
7. Sleeping and resting
9. Books and imagination
10. The Light
There is a part of me that sabotages my own wants and needs. I used to fight against this part. Try to get take care of my wants and needs faster than that "other me" could sabotage them. I tried to ignore and deny that that "other me" existed. Neither of these tactics worked and the end result (regardless if everything was neat and tidy in my life or if my life was in shambles), the end result was me being depressed, hating myself and beating myself up. I have learned that this is not an "other me" it is not a part that is "outside of myself" no matter how much I try to put that part there. This is a part within me. A part that decided a long time ago that my own needs and wants were not important. A part that behaved in a way to make sure that my needs and wants were not fulfilled. A part that knew at the time in my life as a small child making that decision, it was the best way for me to survive. Now, as an adult, that decision no longer serves me and that part of me is now sabotaging my health and wellbeing. I now have much compassion and love for that part within myself. I, as an adult, am now able to care about and make important my want and needs for that part of me that is unable to do so. I am now able to love unconditionally for that part of me that is unable to love. I flow my love to and through that sabotaging part, showing that part of me, showing within me and teaching myself what unconditional love is. Teaching myself what making my needs and wants important feels like. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Saturday! (and air conditioning)
4. Endless possibilities in every moment
5. Choices and responsibilities
6. Unconditional Love
7. Sleeping and resting
9. Books and imagination
10. The Light
There is a part of me that sabotages my own wants and needs. I used to fight against this part. Try to get take care of my wants and needs faster than that "other me" could sabotage them. I tried to ignore and deny that that "other me" existed. Neither of these tactics worked and the end result (regardless if everything was neat and tidy in my life or if my life was in shambles), the end result was me being depressed, hating myself and beating myself up. I have learned that this is not an "other me" it is not a part that is "outside of myself" no matter how much I try to put that part there. This is a part within me. A part that decided a long time ago that my own needs and wants were not important. A part that behaved in a way to make sure that my needs and wants were not fulfilled. A part that knew at the time in my life as a small child making that decision, it was the best way for me to survive. Now, as an adult, that decision no longer serves me and that part of me is now sabotaging my health and wellbeing. I now have much compassion and love for that part within myself. I, as an adult, am now able to care about and make important my want and needs for that part of me that is unable to do so. I am now able to love unconditionally for that part of me that is unable to love. I flow my love to and through that sabotaging part, showing that part of me, showing within me and teaching myself what unconditional love is. Teaching myself what making my needs and wants important feels like. Love and Light.
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