1. My adorable dog
2. Honesty and Integrity
3. My car running well
4. My new job
5. Friends and Family
6. Unconditional Love
7. Choices and responsibility
8. The Light
9. Trees
10. Being of service
I like my new job very much. There is a good energy with the people there and an openness and honesty. I feel I bring expertise in computer applications that they need right now. I feel there is growth with this company. I am grateful for the time I had off between jobs. This feels like I fit well. Love and Light.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Monday, June 23, 2014
6-23-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Starting a new job today with wonderful people
4. The Light in everything
5. Trees
6. Beautiful day
7. Sleeping well
8. Choices and responsibility
9. Unconditional Love
10. Being of service.
I start a new job today. I am excited as I am working with wonderful people. I need to keep myself grounded to the earth and centered and open. I am safe and relaxed. This is exactly where I need to be. I am looking forward to stability and also being of service and bringing my talents to this company and to these people. I am shining my Light to grow with the company and it is my intention to enjoy working with these people in a long-lasting relationship to my retirement. This is part of my balance. This stable job and routine with loving respectful people. And my sacred home-life pursuing my variety of interests. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Starting a new job today with wonderful people
4. The Light in everything
5. Trees
6. Beautiful day
7. Sleeping well
8. Choices and responsibility
9. Unconditional Love
10. Being of service.
I start a new job today. I am excited as I am working with wonderful people. I need to keep myself grounded to the earth and centered and open. I am safe and relaxed. This is exactly where I need to be. I am looking forward to stability and also being of service and bringing my talents to this company and to these people. I am shining my Light to grow with the company and it is my intention to enjoy working with these people in a long-lasting relationship to my retirement. This is part of my balance. This stable job and routine with loving respectful people. And my sacred home-life pursuing my variety of interests. Love and Light.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
6-17-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Beautiful day
3. Trees and hills and mountains
4. Unconditional Love
5. The Light
6. Friends and Family
7. Drumming
8. Music
9. Silence
10. Sleeping
Love and Light to everybody. I had a good interview today. I really liked the person I interviewed with and loved that he had a vision of the culture of his company. Not just what he wanted to get done, but that culture of respect and integrity and caring. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, it matters who the people I'm working with are and the values that they have. Love and Light.
2. Beautiful day
3. Trees and hills and mountains
4. Unconditional Love
5. The Light
6. Friends and Family
7. Drumming
8. Music
9. Silence
10. Sleeping
Love and Light to everybody. I had a good interview today. I really liked the person I interviewed with and loved that he had a vision of the culture of his company. Not just what he wanted to get done, but that culture of respect and integrity and caring. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, it matters who the people I'm working with are and the values that they have. Love and Light.
Monday, June 16, 2014
6-16-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog.
2. My car running well
3. Sleeping
4. Choices and responsibility
5. Music
6. Writing, pens, paper, crayons
7. Unconditional Love
8. The Light
9. Trees
10. Parks and camping
I almost had an interview this morning. I had the appointment set up with the temp agency recruiter since last week. I found the office (it was hard to find tucked back behind a building with no sign on the door) with still time to spare and waited. . . and waited . . . and waited. The door was locked and no sign of anybody in the office. I waited. I called the recruiter and found out she set the appointment and never got a confirmation back from the office. They didn't know I was coming that day. My interview is now tomorrow. I tried to stay calm, to stay grounded and in my heart. Nervousness and fear kept coming up for me. Now, I'm tired. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Sleeping
4. Choices and responsibility
5. Music
6. Writing, pens, paper, crayons
7. Unconditional Love
8. The Light
9. Trees
10. Parks and camping
I almost had an interview this morning. I had the appointment set up with the temp agency recruiter since last week. I found the office (it was hard to find tucked back behind a building with no sign on the door) with still time to spare and waited. . . and waited . . . and waited. The door was locked and no sign of anybody in the office. I waited. I called the recruiter and found out she set the appointment and never got a confirmation back from the office. They didn't know I was coming that day. My interview is now tomorrow. I tried to stay calm, to stay grounded and in my heart. Nervousness and fear kept coming up for me. Now, I'm tired. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. Love and Light.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
6-14-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Beautiful day
3. Quaker Meeting
4. Unconditional Love
5. My car running well
6. My apartment
7. Abundance
8. The Light
9. Music
10. Sleeping
Am I my authentic self? I was pondering a time in my past where I felt my most authentic self. There was a time in my life where I was laid off of my job and I had enough money where I didn't need to get another job for 2 years. I loved that time in my life. I camped all the way to Denver. I wrote a book. I loved it. Was that me being authentic? Did my authenticity come out because I didn't have that "society created" need to get a job to pay bills? Bills that are created by the society we live in? Or was a I just having a good time? Now is the present and I'm wondering what is my authentic self? Being of service? Living off the grid? Writing? Camping? From this post it looks like I'm full of questions about myself. Know thyself. Love and Light.
2. Beautiful day
3. Quaker Meeting
4. Unconditional Love
5. My car running well
6. My apartment
7. Abundance
8. The Light
9. Music
10. Sleeping
Am I my authentic self? I was pondering a time in my past where I felt my most authentic self. There was a time in my life where I was laid off of my job and I had enough money where I didn't need to get another job for 2 years. I loved that time in my life. I camped all the way to Denver. I wrote a book. I loved it. Was that me being authentic? Did my authenticity come out because I didn't have that "society created" need to get a job to pay bills? Bills that are created by the society we live in? Or was a I just having a good time? Now is the present and I'm wondering what is my authentic self? Being of service? Living off the grid? Writing? Camping? From this post it looks like I'm full of questions about myself. Know thyself. Love and Light.
Friday, June 13, 2014
6-13-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Setting up an interview for Monday
4. The Sun and Trees (especially Oaks)
5. Full Moon tonight
6. To be of service
7. Family and Friends
8. Unconditional Love
9. Choices and responsibility
10. The Light
I'm working on getting myself into a routine. Something where I touch on every category that is important to me every day. My categories are Sacred Space, My Dog, Personal Growth, Be of Service to Others, Self Care, Friends and Family, My Creative Projects, and Physical Exercise. I have other categories that are important because they are necessities. These are here (I believe) just because of the society and culture that I live in and not necessarily things I would have on my list by my choice: Material World (this is stuff like shopping, filing taxes, banking), and Job (currently I'm looking for a job. I look at this now and see that these categories that aren't so important to me emotionally, but are needs, are all about money. Money and money transactions are not important to me and are necessary to survive in our culture. I believe I have my priorities in a healthy order. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Setting up an interview for Monday
4. The Sun and Trees (especially Oaks)
5. Full Moon tonight
6. To be of service
7. Family and Friends
8. Unconditional Love
9. Choices and responsibility
10. The Light
I'm working on getting myself into a routine. Something where I touch on every category that is important to me every day. My categories are Sacred Space, My Dog, Personal Growth, Be of Service to Others, Self Care, Friends and Family, My Creative Projects, and Physical Exercise. I have other categories that are important because they are necessities. These are here (I believe) just because of the society and culture that I live in and not necessarily things I would have on my list by my choice: Material World (this is stuff like shopping, filing taxes, banking), and Job (currently I'm looking for a job. I look at this now and see that these categories that aren't so important to me emotionally, but are needs, are all about money. Money and money transactions are not important to me and are necessary to survive in our culture. I believe I have my priorities in a healthy order. Love and Light.
Monday, June 9, 2014
6-9-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Chanting
3. Music
4. Choices and responsibility
5. My car running well
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Guidance
8. A good book
9. Creativity
10. The Light.
I applied for a few more jobs today. Not sure what is going to unfold in my life. I trust in the flow of life. I need to be in it, engaged in my life for it to flow. I need to be fully open. I realized how I had put a wall around my heart and that collapsed all my energies close in to me. That is too much pressure, weight of all my energy being so close. I need to open and spread my energies and my life will become lighter. Love and Light.
2. Chanting
3. Music
4. Choices and responsibility
5. My car running well
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Guidance
8. A good book
9. Creativity
10. The Light.
I applied for a few more jobs today. Not sure what is going to unfold in my life. I trust in the flow of life. I need to be in it, engaged in my life for it to flow. I need to be fully open. I realized how I had put a wall around my heart and that collapsed all my energies close in to me. That is too much pressure, weight of all my energy being so close. I need to open and spread my energies and my life will become lighter. Love and Light.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
6-7-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. A beautiful day
3. Choices and responsibility
4. Completing chores
5. Unconditional Love
6. Trees and more trees
7. National Trails Day
8. Being me
9. Honoring all of my emotions
10. The Light.
I know I've proven it to myself before, and yet I am always amazed that doing the cleaning and projects of hanging up pictures, and other chores around the house, I'm amazed they take less time than watching one hour of TV. And again, doing things on the computer, like job hunting, writing this blog, finding information on trails to hike, take so much longer than I expect.
I am committed to stay on track with my feet under me. Love and Light.
2. A beautiful day
3. Choices and responsibility
4. Completing chores
5. Unconditional Love
6. Trees and more trees
7. National Trails Day
8. Being me
9. Honoring all of my emotions
10. The Light.
I know I've proven it to myself before, and yet I am always amazed that doing the cleaning and projects of hanging up pictures, and other chores around the house, I'm amazed they take less time than watching one hour of TV. And again, doing things on the computer, like job hunting, writing this blog, finding information on trails to hike, take so much longer than I expect.
I am committed to stay on track with my feet under me. Love and Light.
Friday, June 6, 2014
6-6-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Music
3. Napping
4. Feeling everything fully
5. Creativity and art
6. Choices and responsibility
7. Love
8. The Light
9. Pens and Paper and Writing
10. This blog
I had a intensly feeling morning. That means, I was sobbing quite a bit. I was triggered by an email and found that I had been burying a lot of shame about myself. I faced my fear and looked straight at what I had been denying for months. One of my dreams about moving to North Georgia was to be near my best friend again. I was looking forward, and expecting, that in the 6 years of living so far away I had healed a lot of my childhood abuse and wanted to show her how much I have grown in my life. Then I struggled so hard with handling the move and my job, I felt so much shame that I was having so much trouble getting through the days and dealing with the job that I didn't fit into. I buried my shame and projected onto my friend my loss of belief in myself. I believed that all the growth I had done in the past six years, the intense group therapy and everything I had worked so hard to come to terms with my past was a sham. I believed I was always going to be damaged and broken and never able to handle life well. I projected onto my friend that I was always going to be screwed up friend that struggled through life. I learned that I had kept that all hidden from myself and my friend and it was coming out sideways in all kinds of ways. So this morning, with one email, all of my feelings came flooding out of me. And my new decision for myself is that I handle and navigate my life joyously. And my new behavior is to engage in my life and feel everything fully. Love and Light.
2. Music
3. Napping
4. Feeling everything fully
5. Creativity and art
6. Choices and responsibility
7. Love
8. The Light
9. Pens and Paper and Writing
10. This blog
I had a intensly feeling morning. That means, I was sobbing quite a bit. I was triggered by an email and found that I had been burying a lot of shame about myself. I faced my fear and looked straight at what I had been denying for months. One of my dreams about moving to North Georgia was to be near my best friend again. I was looking forward, and expecting, that in the 6 years of living so far away I had healed a lot of my childhood abuse and wanted to show her how much I have grown in my life. Then I struggled so hard with handling the move and my job, I felt so much shame that I was having so much trouble getting through the days and dealing with the job that I didn't fit into. I buried my shame and projected onto my friend my loss of belief in myself. I believed that all the growth I had done in the past six years, the intense group therapy and everything I had worked so hard to come to terms with my past was a sham. I believed I was always going to be damaged and broken and never able to handle life well. I projected onto my friend that I was always going to be screwed up friend that struggled through life. I learned that I had kept that all hidden from myself and my friend and it was coming out sideways in all kinds of ways. So this morning, with one email, all of my feelings came flooding out of me. And my new decision for myself is that I handle and navigate my life joyously. And my new behavior is to engage in my life and feel everything fully. Love and Light.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
6-5-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Music
3. Communication, direct and clear
4. Endless opportunities in every moment
5. Choices and responsibilities
6. Cloudy day
7. Love
8. Light
9. My car running well
10. Abundance
I'm shifting my thinking right now. It's a bad day for me when I turn on the TV right away. It doesn't matter what I watch, it represents my choice that I do not want to live my life. I want to escape into watching others live theirs. I need to engage in my own life. I need to engage in myself. What does that look like? Dancing, cleaning, hanging pictures up and creating sacred space for me. I am me. Love and Light.
2. Music
3. Communication, direct and clear
4. Endless opportunities in every moment
5. Choices and responsibilities
6. Cloudy day
7. Love
8. Light
9. My car running well
10. Abundance
I'm shifting my thinking right now. It's a bad day for me when I turn on the TV right away. It doesn't matter what I watch, it represents my choice that I do not want to live my life. I want to escape into watching others live theirs. I need to engage in my own life. I need to engage in myself. What does that look like? Dancing, cleaning, hanging pictures up and creating sacred space for me. I am me. Love and Light.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
6-3-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Trees and hills
3. Music
4. Therapy session
5. Joy
6. Choices and responsibility
7. Sleeping
8. My car running well
9. Doing my best
10. Unconditional Love
I've been remembering things today. When I first "felt" committment. I always thought it was the act of following through on what you say. The first time I "felt" commitment was November 20th, 2013. And like all my breakthroughs with emotions, it left me. The first time I felt liking myself was a very brief moment to start with, and the first time I felt what letting go really meant only allowed me to be free for a few minutes. And with all of them, I've felt them again and for longer periods of time, I felt them more frequently, and I've had to work at feeling them more and more. Eventually they will become habit, I will feel them more frequently without having to work at them. That's my wish, that's what I believe the pursuit of happiness is. But what if it is always work to feel them. What if they never come naturally. Maybe my pursuit is making the work become natural. Love and Light.
2. Trees and hills
3. Music
4. Therapy session
5. Joy
6. Choices and responsibility
7. Sleeping
8. My car running well
9. Doing my best
10. Unconditional Love
I've been remembering things today. When I first "felt" committment. I always thought it was the act of following through on what you say. The first time I "felt" commitment was November 20th, 2013. And like all my breakthroughs with emotions, it left me. The first time I felt liking myself was a very brief moment to start with, and the first time I felt what letting go really meant only allowed me to be free for a few minutes. And with all of them, I've felt them again and for longer periods of time, I felt them more frequently, and I've had to work at feeling them more and more. Eventually they will become habit, I will feel them more frequently without having to work at them. That's my wish, that's what I believe the pursuit of happiness is. But what if it is always work to feel them. What if they never come naturally. Maybe my pursuit is making the work become natural. Love and Light.
Monday, June 2, 2014
6-2-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. A gorgeous summer day
3. A long hike in the mountains
4. My car running well
5. My apartment
6. My comfy bed
7. Finding everything at the store for taco soup
8. Choices and responsibility
9. Living in North Georgia
10. Unconditional love
I'm writing this at the end of the day as opposed to my usual morning writing. It was a lot easier tonight and I believe it's because I had a wonderful day, especially my time outside hiking around the mountain. Some things that I needed to get done got done, and other things I needed did not get done. I guess I'm stuck on getting everything done in one day. It's not possible for me and I exhaust myself, or I never start because it's way too much to do. When I spread it out over the week, I forget stuff, or don't get things done before deadlines or when they need to be done and I hurt myself or others. It's life. If I had it all figured out . . . . what? Nobody's ever had it all figured out so why try to imagine what it would feel like. Just feel what I'm feeling now. Keep breathing in and out. I'll live to tomorrow and the next day. Love and Light.
2. A gorgeous summer day
3. A long hike in the mountains
4. My car running well
5. My apartment
6. My comfy bed
7. Finding everything at the store for taco soup
8. Choices and responsibility
9. Living in North Georgia
10. Unconditional love
I'm writing this at the end of the day as opposed to my usual morning writing. It was a lot easier tonight and I believe it's because I had a wonderful day, especially my time outside hiking around the mountain. Some things that I needed to get done got done, and other things I needed did not get done. I guess I'm stuck on getting everything done in one day. It's not possible for me and I exhaust myself, or I never start because it's way too much to do. When I spread it out over the week, I forget stuff, or don't get things done before deadlines or when they need to be done and I hurt myself or others. It's life. If I had it all figured out . . . . what? Nobody's ever had it all figured out so why try to imagine what it would feel like. Just feel what I'm feeling now. Keep breathing in and out. I'll live to tomorrow and the next day. Love and Light.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
6-1-14 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Trees and hills and cloudy breezes
3. Choices and responsibility
4. Music
5. Art and creativity
6. Friends
7. Breathing
8. Endless opportunities in every moment
9. Writing
10. Unconditional Love
Yet another fresh start. Yet another try at pursuing what I want to do. What if what I want to do is watch 12 hours of TV a day? Old false logic would tell me "that must be what I want because that is what I'm doing." I get so tired . . . . there needs to be another word for it . . . . full of life, maybe? . . . . I say that my back hurts or my head hurts, and that is the case but I'm feeling physical pain because of what I'm feeling. What am I feeling when I accomplish things for myself? I don't know. I'm going to keep trying. Love and Light.
2. Trees and hills and cloudy breezes
3. Choices and responsibility
4. Music
5. Art and creativity
6. Friends
7. Breathing
8. Endless opportunities in every moment
9. Writing
10. Unconditional Love
Yet another fresh start. Yet another try at pursuing what I want to do. What if what I want to do is watch 12 hours of TV a day? Old false logic would tell me "that must be what I want because that is what I'm doing." I get so tired . . . . there needs to be another word for it . . . . full of life, maybe? . . . . I say that my back hurts or my head hurts, and that is the case but I'm feeling physical pain because of what I'm feeling. What am I feeling when I accomplish things for myself? I don't know. I'm going to keep trying. Love and Light.
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