2-22-12 grateful for today

1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Stillness and silence
4. Sacredness
5. Endless possibilities in every moment
6. All my experiences and all my emotions
7. Guidance and leadings
8. Time and space
9. Water
10. Unconditional Love

Years ago I used to cut myself. I used to believe that the physical pain of cutting myself was the only way to release my emotional pain. It was an illusion, emotional pain was not released, I just matched my outer world with my inner world of pain. One thing I would do that I realize now is that when my cut wound started to heal, I would cut it open again. The same spot. I wanted the wound to stay open. I realize now that that was what I was doing with my internal wounds of my childhood. I would keep them open, sometimes creating the situation where that wound would be ripped open again. There is no evidence and no one to validate that the abuse ever happened. I realized that I believed that my memories could be wiped away by someone else. The only way to keep them was to not have them turn into memories, to keep the wound fresh and alive like it was happening now was the only way. I now know all my experiences happened to me. I cherish and honor my memories. I allow myself to heal and remember them with peace and love. Love and Light.