6-15-12 grateful for today

1.  My adorable dog
2.  Breathing
3.  Friends
4.  Unconditional Love
5.  Choices and responsibility
6.  Endless possibilities in every moment
7.  Creativity and talent
8.  My wonderful job
9.  Affirmations
10.  The Light

This is a day where being grateful and writing this list is an exercise towards Love and Light.  Today is a hard day to come up with things to be grateful for.  And today is a day where I need it more.  It takes me a lot longer to come up with 10 things, and it helps to connect me to gratitude and love.  Last night and this morning I was starting down the "life sucks" path.  My brother has unbearable pressure in his head that has caused his vision to change drastically in 2 weeks.  Something is pressing on his optic nerves and doctors don't know what yet.  He's had several tests, all normal, so they are now at the place where they don't have an idea of what's wrong.  My very good friend found out yesterday she has a brain tumor and needs to be operated on.  I didn't sleep much last night.  I was crying loudly into my pillow and this little voice inside my head is asking, "Do I have a good enough reason to be crying like this?"  For years, this little question has stopped me from expressing my sadness because growing up I was told over and over that I had no reason to cry.  For the first time I had an answer for this question.  "I hurt."  That's enough.  I hurt.  There doesn't need to be any more reasoning than that.   Feeling the pain of my own struggles, Feeling the pain of watching my friends and family struggle.  I hurt.  Love and Light.