4-18-10 grateful for today

1. The dog food store being open today
2. Supportive responses from my friends
3. Every new moment a possibility to shift and change
4. Change
5. Open to possibilities
6. Choices
7. Adventure and risks
8. Wonderful cool cloudy weather
9. Connected inside and to the world
10. Unconditional love.

I started out yesterday pretty well. Then I turned into loser mode. I know it was my choice. Looking back, I believe I spent too much time trying to figure out my budget. I'm trying to do it a new way and I'm confusing myself. Instead of taking a break (or using my 15 minute timer), I pounded myself on the budget from 9 am till 2 pm until I was so frustrated and annoyed with myself. I then chose to spend the rest of my day reading a novel and watching mindless TV and feeling sorry for myself.

So, today is a fresh start. I do feel some leftover "loser" emotions from yesterday. My urge to crawl under a rock and not move is very strong. So, I'm going to arm myself with my 15 minute timer. I can do anything for 15 minutes. I choose to embrace this day with love, joy, openness, and trust.

I have some changes happening. I've put myself back out there as a video editor. I have a temp second job starting in a week. I have a very good close friend leaving this area to pursue her dreams (which points out to me how much I talk about my dreams and how little I do towards them). I have changes happening physically, emotionally, and spiritually that I need to remember that I'm not alone. I can take care of myself. I need to remember the forward progress that I've made (some days I feel like I'm all the way back at square one).

Maybe I should start taking risks, or being aware of what risks I do take. What's a risk I can take today? Finish my short script and send it out to the actors I have lined up and schedule the dates for the shoot.

That's my 15 minutes.