4-13-10 grateful for today

1. Ken's blog at MildlyCreative.com
2. Asking without attachment
3. My vision board
4. My talents and abilities
5. Unconditional love and acceptance
6. Trust
7. My car running well
8. My adorable dog
9. Taking risks
10. Cool rainy cloudy weather.

Check out Ken's blog here: http://www.mildlycreative.com/2010/04/do-what-moves-you-because-nobody-moves-like-you-do/. His blog for April 12th is insightful also. I'm so grateful that there are resources out there that people like Ken share. It's nice to be reminded that I'm the only one that does it like me. I had recently been offered an opportunity to teach shooting on a set. I am good at what I do and I'm also good at teaching. The thing that was stopping me and what I put out there as an excuse to hide behind my resistance was my equipment. My equipment is old and out of date and most of it I made myself from home depot. The things I shoot, you wouldn't be able to tell that the equipment is not "professional". And I was using this excuse and hiding behind that my fear of rejection. My equipment will be laughed at, I wont' be taken seriously because of my equipment. Just take equipment out of those sentences and my real and true fear comes to the front. I'm afraid I'll be laughed at, I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously just as myself. And I become clear. I take these secretary jobs because I know it's not risk. Because I know I won't be challenged. Because I know if I screw up, I won't care. And so I take these jobs that do not fit, that I don't care about, and then I don't care about anything in the world.

There was a time when I did challenge myself, when I spent all my time at creating a business for myself. I did pretty well, yeah, I made some mistakes, AND I was doing it. In the end, I hadn't processed my personal terror, and I got in my own way. Now what? Now what risk am I going to take? What am I afraid of?

That's my 15 minutes.