1. My adorable dog
2. Chanting
3. Mastermind
4. My open heart
5. Understanding
6. Endless possibilities
7. This beautiful day
8. The earth
9. My job and co-workers
10. Unconditional love
I'm feeling both joyous and sad this morning. I believe I am touching on my hope. I buried my hope and feeling hope a very long time ago. It was hard to believe that my dreams are possible when I was so busy just surviving. I'm moving beyond survival into living and towards living my dreams. I'm aware now of when one of my old beliefs need to change, that I feel like I'm going to die. My old belief and behavior was created so that I survived so many years ago. My life has changed all around now, and the threat of death that was so real when I was a kid, is now an illusion as an adult. I'm doing okay.
Love and light.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
1-31-11 grateful for today
1. Opportunity to change my life in the form of a job interview today
2. Movies
3. My adorable dog
4. Sleeping and dreaming
5. Unconditional love
6. The choice to always come back to the present moment
7. My creative abilities and talents
8. Sunrise
9. Breath of life
10. Embracing the unknown and letting go
Movies are absolutely wonderful. I love movies. I watch some and they touch me very deeply, show me my faults and frailties, teach me about myself. I allow the movie to change me. I watch some others and I'm disconnected from myself, from this world. I escape and shut down. I am obsessed and can't turn off the TV.
I am learning the difference of how I feel before I start to watch. I am becoming aware of my intention. Is my intention to watch the movie? or is my intention to avoid my own life? Even when my intention is to avoid my own life, there are still messages and insights I'm touched by the movies I watch. The difference is that I fight against allowing them to touch and change me.
I love to make movies. The ones that change me as I'm making them are precious to me and seem to be the ones that touch/change others the most.
Love and light.
2. Movies
3. My adorable dog
4. Sleeping and dreaming
5. Unconditional love
6. The choice to always come back to the present moment
7. My creative abilities and talents
8. Sunrise
9. Breath of life
10. Embracing the unknown and letting go
Movies are absolutely wonderful. I love movies. I watch some and they touch me very deeply, show me my faults and frailties, teach me about myself. I allow the movie to change me. I watch some others and I'm disconnected from myself, from this world. I escape and shut down. I am obsessed and can't turn off the TV.
I am learning the difference of how I feel before I start to watch. I am becoming aware of my intention. Is my intention to watch the movie? or is my intention to avoid my own life? Even when my intention is to avoid my own life, there are still messages and insights I'm touched by the movies I watch. The difference is that I fight against allowing them to touch and change me.
I love to make movies. The ones that change me as I'm making them are precious to me and seem to be the ones that touch/change others the most.
Love and light.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
1-30-11 grateful for today
1. video editing
2. Friends meeting
3. My adorable dog
4. Chanting
5. Meditating
6. Living life in my own time and space
7. French toast
8. Endless opportunities and choices
9. Taking risks, moving forward
10. Unconditional love
My dog is so cute and adorable. Every morning he does something that makes me smile or laugh. He is quick to play and has no embarrassment to sleep in the middle of the day when he is tired. He has a high pitched chirping bark that he uses when he wants something and he has no shame in asking for what he wants. Knowing what he wants is a whole different story. I have no idea most of the time.
Love and light.
2. Friends meeting
3. My adorable dog
4. Chanting
5. Meditating
6. Living life in my own time and space
7. French toast
8. Endless opportunities and choices
9. Taking risks, moving forward
10. Unconditional love
My dog is so cute and adorable. Every morning he does something that makes me smile or laugh. He is quick to play and has no embarrassment to sleep in the middle of the day when he is tired. He has a high pitched chirping bark that he uses when he wants something and he has no shame in asking for what he wants. Knowing what he wants is a whole different story. I have no idea most of the time.
Love and light.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
1-27-11 grateful for today
1. the cool weather
2. my adorable dog
3. Tears
4. understanding
5. unconditional love
6. opportunities
7. belief and trust in myself and others
8. the Light/Great Spirit/God
9. reaching out
10. choices
I had a hard time coming up with this list today. From about 4 down, those were things I had a hard time seeing for myself. I can regurgitate what I have put before for my list and sometimes that is helpful for me to see it again. Today, I need to be able to see these things now as I'm rather upset with myself. I'm not seeing myself as a divine light or even worth the breath I'm breathing.
Love and light.
2. my adorable dog
3. Tears
4. understanding
5. unconditional love
6. opportunities
7. belief and trust in myself and others
8. the Light/Great Spirit/God
9. reaching out
10. choices
I had a hard time coming up with this list today. From about 4 down, those were things I had a hard time seeing for myself. I can regurgitate what I have put before for my list and sometimes that is helpful for me to see it again. Today, I need to be able to see these things now as I'm rather upset with myself. I'm not seeing myself as a divine light or even worth the breath I'm breathing.
Love and light.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
1-26-11 grateful for today
1. Life and Breath of Life
2. Spiritual Being
3. Amazement and wonderment
4. My present moment
5. My path unfolding perfectly
6. My adorable dog
7. My car running well
8. My creative gifts and talents
9. Friends
10. Sleeping through the night
I am a spiritual being having a human experience. When I am aware of my spiritual being I love wholly and unconditionally. I see each person as an amazing man or woman and I am filled with wonderment. My human experience, I feel my joy, sorrow, pain, anger, fear, and shame. When I allow myself to move through them and truly feel them through, I learn my lesson and touch Spirit. when I deny my human experience (something I have been trained my whole life to do) then I suffer. Everything is a circle. Once I reach touching Spirit, I don't stay there for I am still here on this earth and the cycle repeats.
I have been suffering. I have been doubting my ability to truly go into my feelings and through them.
Love and light.
2. Spiritual Being
3. Amazement and wonderment
4. My present moment
5. My path unfolding perfectly
6. My adorable dog
7. My car running well
8. My creative gifts and talents
9. Friends
10. Sleeping through the night
I am a spiritual being having a human experience. When I am aware of my spiritual being I love wholly and unconditionally. I see each person as an amazing man or woman and I am filled with wonderment. My human experience, I feel my joy, sorrow, pain, anger, fear, and shame. When I allow myself to move through them and truly feel them through, I learn my lesson and touch Spirit. when I deny my human experience (something I have been trained my whole life to do) then I suffer. Everything is a circle. Once I reach touching Spirit, I don't stay there for I am still here on this earth and the cycle repeats.
I have been suffering. I have been doubting my ability to truly go into my feelings and through them.
Love and light.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
1-25-11 grateful for today
1. My car running well
2. My adorable dog
3. Unconditional love
4. Holding space
5. Amazement and wonderment
6. Wind
7. Birds and trees
8. Endless possibilities
9. I choose
10. Warmth
I wrote the list at work this morning because I snoozed my alarm for an hour and a half. So, I had a very shortened morning. I had a hard time writing the list too. I put "I choose" on there and I seem to get myself in trouble with that one. One thing is that I choose to waste my evening on mindless tv and and I choose to beat myself up for not doing the tasks I had so much energy to do while I was at work. Ah well, I have the opportunity to choose to clean the kitchen, or read some uplifting material, or to process some emotions that have become jammed up in me. Yes, avoiding emotions, that's what all my tv watching and eating is. *sigh*
Love and light.
2. My adorable dog
3. Unconditional love
4. Holding space
5. Amazement and wonderment
6. Wind
7. Birds and trees
8. Endless possibilities
9. I choose
10. Warmth
I wrote the list at work this morning because I snoozed my alarm for an hour and a half. So, I had a very shortened morning. I had a hard time writing the list too. I put "I choose" on there and I seem to get myself in trouble with that one. One thing is that I choose to waste my evening on mindless tv and and I choose to beat myself up for not doing the tasks I had so much energy to do while I was at work. Ah well, I have the opportunity to choose to clean the kitchen, or read some uplifting material, or to process some emotions that have become jammed up in me. Yes, avoiding emotions, that's what all my tv watching and eating is. *sigh*
Love and light.
Monday, January 24, 2011
1-24-11 grateful for today
1. Awareness
2. Unconditional love
3. My adorable dog
4. Healthy processing
5. Endless possibilities
6. Choosing
7. Amazing friends
8. My creativity and talents
9. The cool weather
10. A relaxed morning.
I am grateful for awareness. Not only for my growth and knowing that I am acting and reacting in more healthy ways. But also for awareness of things I don't like about myself. I am so used to not looking at those ways I am unhealthy, mean, or ugly, that sometimes it takes a noble friend to tell me what they see. And for me to be totally open to hearing. Sometimes a seed gets through, I hear, but I don't listen, I am unable to listen at that moment. So the seed is there waiting for me to listen while I battle my self-judgment and my illusions of perfectionism. Then I reach a state of quiet acceptance and listen and become aware of my behavior pattern, my belief system that I had been denying. At this point, I am able to choose to change it. My process and struggle with emotions is not over at the point of choosing because then I face risk of doing/behaving/believing something new. The risk of stepping into the "I don't know what's going to happen". I guess even this last step will become easier and easier with practice. For now, I know I need to honor my feelings, feel them completely and step into the risk anyway. This is living life.
2. Unconditional love
3. My adorable dog
4. Healthy processing
5. Endless possibilities
6. Choosing
7. Amazing friends
8. My creativity and talents
9. The cool weather
10. A relaxed morning.
I am grateful for awareness. Not only for my growth and knowing that I am acting and reacting in more healthy ways. But also for awareness of things I don't like about myself. I am so used to not looking at those ways I am unhealthy, mean, or ugly, that sometimes it takes a noble friend to tell me what they see. And for me to be totally open to hearing. Sometimes a seed gets through, I hear, but I don't listen, I am unable to listen at that moment. So the seed is there waiting for me to listen while I battle my self-judgment and my illusions of perfectionism. Then I reach a state of quiet acceptance and listen and become aware of my behavior pattern, my belief system that I had been denying. At this point, I am able to choose to change it. My process and struggle with emotions is not over at the point of choosing because then I face risk of doing/behaving/believing something new. The risk of stepping into the "I don't know what's going to happen". I guess even this last step will become easier and easier with practice. For now, I know I need to honor my feelings, feel them completely and step into the risk anyway. This is living life.
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