6-14-12 grateful for today

1.  My adorable dog
2.  Choices and responsibility
3.  The Light
4.  Chanting
5.  Music
6.  Ability to change and transform
7.  Creativity and talent
8.  The sun, the earth, the breeze
9.  My car running well
10.  Unconditional Love

I am safe, I am loved, I am doing my best.  I have time, This will take time.  I'm not feeling very positive or enlightened at the moment.  So, this would be my que to take some time for me and do what I need to do to connect with The Light/Spirit.  I want help with this and I have a hard time calling up a friend because I don't know what I want them to do to help.  I don't know.  I want to step thru this feeling all the steps and I'm held back by the part of me that does not want to do this at all.  I feel the tension within me of both pulling and that is very uncomfortable and so I disconnect.  I am staying present in this tension, in this wanting to walk through my emotions and feelings.  I know that at the core is a deep resistance to life, from a long time ago.  Eating is an act wanting to live.  Eating healthy is an act of wanting to live joyously.  I didn't want that before, so I developed issues around eating.  I want that now and the process of transforming is painful.
Love and Light.