6-11-12 grateful for today

1.  My adorable dog
2.  My car running well
3.  Relaxation and meditation
4.  The Light
5.  Music
6.  The Sun, the Moon, the Earth
7.  Fulfilling my needs
8.  Friends and family
9.  Unconditional Love
10.  Choices and responsibility
With all my years of going to mental health counseling, I am able to see that my deep core issue is that I believe that "There is something wrong with me."  That's my belief that pops up when I struggle with emotions triggered with eating, when my past memories of abuse seem overwhelming, when I flow with the waves of life from the crest into the deep valley and feel hurt, sad, afraid, anger, shame.  That belief started a long time ago and this weekend I realized that I am the one recreating this belief for myself now.  I have food and eating issues, lots of rage and terror get triggered when I'm around food or need to think about it.  I'm recreating my belief that "there is something wrong with me" when I allow my powerful emotions to overwhelm me and I tell myself that I can't deal with eating because its multiple times a day.  When I tell myself it's too much to handle.  When I tell myself I'm going to lose my mind if I have to be aware of my eating and emotions every time I need to eat.  I'm the one recreating "There is something wrong with me."  Because implied in that is that I'm not able to heal.  I was not able to heal as a child because just surviving was all I could do.  I am an adult now.  I have the tools to process my emotions, to release, to feel, to heal.  Yes, it is a struggle without a break, without time to step back from it to get perspective.  "There is something perfect with me."  Love and Light.