9-24-11 grateful for today

1. My adorable dog
2. Tai Chi class
3. A beautiful long hug from someone I've missed
4. Friends getting together
5. Thunderstorms
6. Resting
7. Seeing myself as I really am
8. Acceptance
9. Forgiveness
10. Willingness to transform

I've been sick with a cold, a mild one. Yet, I was quick to jump on the old habit and belief system that no longer serves me that since I'm sick I get to disconnect from the world, from myself, from any responsibility in my self care. I've obviously done a bad job caring for myself so I can give up for a while. It's like I stepped in quicksand and instead of grabbing onto the branches of self care right there, I decide to see how far down the sand trap goes. I've already stepped in it, so why not? 8 hours of movie watching a day is not self care. I see myself as I really am and also see my "want" to change as just that . . . a want. Not a desire, not a need. The last four on my list go together. Kind of like steps to healing. I'm seeing myself as I really am, now to accept myself and unconditionally love myself. That's the step I'm on now. I try to skip over steps, jump right over Acceptance and Forgiveness and I try to force myself to transform. I try to make myself change when I'm not ready because Acceptance and Forgiveness are very hard.
Love and Light