9-22-11 grateful for today

1. My adorable dog
2. Healing
3. Sleeping
4. Movies
5. Drum Circle
6. Hot tea
7. Being gentle with me
8. A day off
9. Unconditional love
10. Taking care of me

I stayed home sick from work today. I have a cold. I've been feeling 'off' all week and thought it was emotions. Now I have a cold . . . . so it's definitely emotions. I've been sleeping and resting all day. I have a drum circle tonight that is very special to me and only meets once a month. I want the spiritual rejuvenation I receive from this drum circle. I'm feeling very crappy physically right now and it seems like an awfully big job to get dressed and drive a half hour to it. And the Star Wars movies are calling to me to watch them.
I was laying on the couch and I was feeling better. I got up and moved around to get ready to go and I feel worse. Now I'm sitting here at the computer and I feel better. I went on got my tea and I feel worse. I do this pattern a lot. I know the thing to do that will help me be better, to heal, to feel good about myself, and I make it the harder thing for me to do. I make it a struggle and effort to do that good thing. I can make it the easy excited thing for me to do, "Yay! I'm going to Drum Circle to feel better, to feel healing, how wonderful!" And yet, I sit here and debate if I'm going to go at all because I have a cold. My brain jumps in to try to reason it out. "If I go, I might make other people sick. On the other hand, you're already going to miss next month by being out of town. On the other hand, you might be to weak to drum. On the other hand, you will feel all that good energy. On the other hand, you might be sick because you are full of bad energy." My brain is great at analyzing, but sometimes I need it to listen to my heart.
Love and Light.