1-2-2012 grateful for today

1. My adorable dog
2. Chanting
3. Sleeping and waking up naturally
4. Endless possibilities in every moment
5. Responsibility for my decisions, even when I don't make one
6. Breathing
7. Strength
8. Unconditional love
9. Time
10. Naps

I need to clean my place. For my own self care. I need a lot of motivation to clean my place. I feel more comfortable sitting in dust and dirt and clutter rather than go through the pain of cleaning. I hurt emotionally to clean for myself. I have the skills. I'm an excellent and thorough cleaner when I'm helping somebody elses place to get clean. I feel good cleaning their place, I do a better job than my own place. I have been imagining that I'm cleaning for somebody else, that it's somebody elses house I'm cleaning. I do a good job until that charade wears off. Then I pretend that somebody is coming over and I want to have my place clean for them, and that works until I become sadder knowing that nobody is coming. I need to clean for me. I need to clean out the dust and dirt and clutter from my place . . . and also inside of me. The only way I'm going to find out why I hurt to clean for me is to start cleaning and let the emotions come.
Love and Light.