1-9-12 grateful for today

1. My adorable dog
2. Patience
3. Honoring all my emotions
4. Chanting
5. Meditation
6. Silence
7. Unconditional love
8. Creativity and talent
9. Breathing
10. My car running well

I'm having a hard time feeling grateful today. This morning has been full of frustrations. I'm doing my best with not falling into the "It's all their fault!" angry trap. And when I look honestly in myself to see what emotions are coming up for me, I feel like crying . . . a lot. Frustrations that bring up deep beliefs and emotions that I feel I'm not good enough at this job that I love, I don't deserve a job I love to do. Frustrations that I feel I don't exist in the insurance/western medicine world. And those feelings bring up frustrations that I feel that showing and expressing what I'm feeling right now is neither appropriate or valid. It's not okay.
Mistakes happen. And feeling sad that I made one or two or three is okay. Feeling mad that someone else made one that changes my schedule for today is okay, I can feel my anger and go underneath to the hurt I feel because I believe that I'm not important. I know that comes from me. I know the other person did not make the mistake on purpose to hurt me, the other person doesn't even know me, never met me before yesterday.
How can I be of service now? And that includes me. I may be of service to the greater good if I go take a walk now and cry some and call a friend for support. I am part of the whole.
Love and Light.