4-25-12 grateful for today

1.  My adorable dog
2.  Group therapy meeting tonight
3.  Breathing
4.  The Light
5.  My wonderful job
6.  My car running well
7.  Paper and pens and pencils
8.  Relaxation
9.  My warm jacket
10.  Completing this list

I have had a very hard time composing this list today.  I don't want to feel grateful today.    Things that I normally put on my list like "honoring all my emotions and expressing them" I don't feel grateful about today.  I have felt like this in the past, and put it on my list to cultivate feeling grateful for it throughout the day.  Using this list as a shift in perspective.  And it has worked.  Today I want to feel like I am right now.  I feel resistant and the therapy I've been through has taught me to push through the resistance.  Push through what I'm afraid of.  Today I don't want to.  Today I want to feel the resistance and fear.  Where's the honor of those emotions if I push through them?  Maybe I haven't been pushing through, only pushing aside?  This is when my logical brain can rationalize anything I want.  Resistance means I am resisting feeling my true feelings.  My fear is being afraid to express and give voice to my true feelings.  Resistance and fear are a reaction to my true feelings.  My true feelings are life.  Love and Light.