8-23-14 grateful for today

1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Saturday! (and air conditioning)
4. Endless possibilities in every moment
5. Choices and responsibilities
6. Unconditional Love
7. Sleeping and resting
9. Books and imagination
10. The Light

There is a part of me that sabotages my own wants and needs.  I used to fight against this part.  Try to get take care of my wants and needs faster than that "other me" could sabotage them.  I tried to ignore and deny that that "other me" existed.  Neither of these tactics worked and the end result (regardless if everything was neat and tidy in my life or if my life was in shambles), the end result was me being depressed, hating myself and beating myself up.  I have learned that this is not an "other me" it is not a part that is "outside of myself" no matter how much I try to put that part there.  This is a part within me.  A part that decided a long time ago that my own needs and wants were not important.  A part that behaved in a way to make sure that my needs and wants were not fulfilled.  A part that knew at the time in my life as a small child making that decision, it was the best way for me to survive.  Now, as an adult, that decision no longer serves me and that part of me is now sabotaging my health and wellbeing.  I now have much compassion and love for that part within myself.  I, as an adult, am now able to care about and make important my want and needs for that part of me that is unable to do so.  I am now able to love unconditionally for that part of me that is unable to love.  I flow my love to and through that sabotaging part, showing that part of me, showing within me and teaching myself what unconditional love is.  Teaching myself what making my needs and wants important feels like.  Love and Light.