11-2-12 grateful for today

1.  My adorable dog
2.  My car running well
3.  My wonderful creative job
4.  Breathing
5.  Chanting
6.  Typing
7.  Meditation
9.  Unconditional Love
10.  Gentleness

I had a friend a couple of days ago remind me to be gentle with myself.  I forget that, especially when I feel lost and scared and don't trust that I have LIGHT within me.  When I'm filled with darkness.  Those times I feel a need to punish myself.  My friend reminded me to be gentle, and I'm able to gently let that feeling pass.  Part of my punishment "habit" is that I feel I don't deserve to feel joy or happiness or excitement for life.  With gentleness, I'm not going from one extreme to the other, dark punishment to light excitment, so fast that it feels violent.  I gently and slowly move from darkness to the middle, where I can see the light and see the dark and gently let both touch me.  Where I can see that it is my choice to move to the dark or move to light.  It's restful here.  Sometimes I think to just stay here in the middle . . . and that is not living either.  I choose to rest, to regain a larger perspective, and I choose to be led into experiencing life fully again.  Love and Light.