5-4-12 grateful for today

1.  My adorable dog
2.  My car running well
3.  Music and Chanting
4.  Creativity
5.  My wonderful job
6.  Friday
7.  Holding others in the Light
8.  Being held in the Light
9.  Being of service
10.  Taking risks, choices and responsibility

Life is to be lived, not just survived.  This is a lesson that comes back to me again and again.  Growing up terrified and having terrifying things happen to me over and over, I became very adept at surviving.  I learned as a kid that living life was dangerous.  I learned that preparing myself for the trauma that was coming seemed to be easier than enjoying those times between the traumas.  Falling from joy is much farther fall than a jump from one trauma to another.  Living life and feeling joy became such scary things for me as a kid.  I am no longer in that situation.  I am safe, I am an adult, I keep myself safe, I have tools and the ability now to protect myself.  I am safe to feel joy . . . and it's so new, it's uncomfortable.  I know that trauma may still happen and that fall from joy if trauma happens will be as far and hurt as much as when I was a kid.  What I'm saying is that I'm better able to handle, understand, and see the gift in that fall.  And it's not going to happen as often or as regularly when I was a kid.  I like that song from Cirque Du Soleil "Let Me Fall", there's a line in it that says "let me climb."  Let me climb into joy, like climbing into the lap of God.
Love and Light.