1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Vacation
4. Quaker Meeting
5. Acceptance
6. Warm clothes
7. Cold weather
8. Chanting and music
9. Movies
10. Unconditional Love
I'm leaving today on my vacation. YAY! Last night I became clearer on letting go of commitments. There have been so many commitments I've made to myself that now keeping them is hurting me. I understand that now. Keeping commitments past the time of the commitments being useful is hurting me. And this is true for commitments I've made to others. Keeping them is hurting me, letting them go may hurt them. A lot of these commitments I'm keeping that I've made to others, the other people have already let them go. They have decided that I'm not going to go through with it, it's been years. They have let it go, and I'm still holding it over my head as a burden. Some other people hold it against me that I haven't come through, and others just let it go. Some will not believe me again when I tell them I will do something and follow through. That's what I can't stand. And it's because if I let these commitments to others go, how will I know that I will go through with what I tell others? How will I know that my word is good and my commitment means something? If I let these go, how can I commit to anything else? I know that holding these old commitments that give me pain is not helping me. Love and Light.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Saturday, December 29, 2012
12-29-12 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Breakfast with a good friend
4. Chanting
5. Air conditioning
6. Computers and internet
7. Safety
8. Unconditional Love
9. Choices and responsibility
10. The Light
I slept in this morning, meaning I got up at 7 am before the dog woke up. That's what sleeping in has come to mean to me, waking up before the dog wakes me up. My adorable dog stayed in bed sleeping for another 20 minutes. He's getting rather old. He's cute when he snores. He scares himself when he farts. He runs away and looks at his butt at the same time with a look on his face of "what the hell was that?!" He's pretty gassy in his old age, and he's still not used to it, every fart he reacts like it's never happened before. He's pretty funny. I burn a lot of incense in the house. Wishing all a Happy New Year (no matter how it smells). Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Breakfast with a good friend
4. Chanting
5. Air conditioning
6. Computers and internet
7. Safety
8. Unconditional Love
9. Choices and responsibility
10. The Light
I slept in this morning, meaning I got up at 7 am before the dog woke up. That's what sleeping in has come to mean to me, waking up before the dog wakes me up. My adorable dog stayed in bed sleeping for another 20 minutes. He's getting rather old. He's cute when he snores. He scares himself when he farts. He runs away and looks at his butt at the same time with a look on his face of "what the hell was that?!" He's pretty gassy in his old age, and he's still not used to it, every fart he reacts like it's never happened before. He's pretty funny. I burn a lot of incense in the house. Wishing all a Happy New Year (no matter how it smells). Love and Light.
Friday, December 28, 2012
12-28-12 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Choices and responsibility
3. Expressing emotions and letting go
4. Unconditional Love
5. Compassion and understanding
6. Chanting
7. Music
8. Creativity
9. Snuggling under warm blankets
10. Cool weather
Yay, it's Friday! I'm ready for my vacation to start. I'm not sure if I will have access to a computer on my week off next week, so I may not be able to post to this blog. Or I'll be having so much fun enjoying my relaxation that I might not remember to post on this blog. I'm grateful I'll be able to get all my responsibilities done at work before I go. Now, I need to be sure I get everything together that I need for the trip. I'm struggling to be here in this moment. Be aware of the task in front of me. My trip will happen at the time it needs to happen. Right now I need to be here. Love and Light.
2. Choices and responsibility
3. Expressing emotions and letting go
4. Unconditional Love
5. Compassion and understanding
6. Chanting
7. Music
8. Creativity
9. Snuggling under warm blankets
10. Cool weather
Yay, it's Friday! I'm ready for my vacation to start. I'm not sure if I will have access to a computer on my week off next week, so I may not be able to post to this blog. Or I'll be having so much fun enjoying my relaxation that I might not remember to post on this blog. I'm grateful I'll be able to get all my responsibilities done at work before I go. Now, I need to be sure I get everything together that I need for the trip. I'm struggling to be here in this moment. Be aware of the task in front of me. My trip will happen at the time it needs to happen. Right now I need to be here. Love and Light.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
12-27-12 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Creativity and talent
4. Unconditional Love
5. Cool weather
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Choices and responsibility
8. Therapy session
9. Warm blankets
10. Cuddling
I finished my list and now I'm flooded with other things I'm grateful for: Meditation, Chanting, Music, taking a moment and breathing, My wonderful job, Having the office to myself . . . and there are more. I feel gratitude today. Some of the time I make this list and it's a mental exercise, I don't feel it. I try to. I make the list to try to connect and FEEL grateful. Today I feel grateful and there is a feeling that I can only describe as an internal sigh of relief. That I have found it again. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Creativity and talent
4. Unconditional Love
5. Cool weather
6. Endless possibilities in every moment
7. Choices and responsibility
8. Therapy session
9. Warm blankets
10. Cuddling
I finished my list and now I'm flooded with other things I'm grateful for: Meditation, Chanting, Music, taking a moment and breathing, My wonderful job, Having the office to myself . . . and there are more. I feel gratitude today. Some of the time I make this list and it's a mental exercise, I don't feel it. I try to. I make the list to try to connect and FEEL grateful. Today I feel grateful and there is a feeling that I can only describe as an internal sigh of relief. That I have found it again. Love and Light.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
12-26-12 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. Feeling better every day
3. My car running well
4. Endless possibilities in every moment
5. Deep conversations with dear friends
6. Choices and responsibility
7. Unconditional Love
8. Chanting
9. Daily readings
10. The Light
Christmas is over and we are coming to the end of the year (by some people's calendars). I'm looking forward to the new year as all my vacation time renews and I'm taking the first week of the year off! I need a vacation. Even doing a job that I love and I'm passionate about, doesn't mean I have to love it every day. There are some days I need to get away from it. I'm looking forward to going north to colder weather and visiting with friends. I'm feeling better and this upper respiratory infection is just about gone. I'm relaxed and calm. I enjoyed my day off yesterday and spent half of it with a dear friend visiting and sharing. Here's my wish to the world, open your hearts and share them. Love and Light.
2. Feeling better every day
3. My car running well
4. Endless possibilities in every moment
5. Deep conversations with dear friends
6. Choices and responsibility
7. Unconditional Love
8. Chanting
9. Daily readings
10. The Light
Christmas is over and we are coming to the end of the year (by some people's calendars). I'm looking forward to the new year as all my vacation time renews and I'm taking the first week of the year off! I need a vacation. Even doing a job that I love and I'm passionate about, doesn't mean I have to love it every day. There are some days I need to get away from it. I'm looking forward to going north to colder weather and visiting with friends. I'm feeling better and this upper respiratory infection is just about gone. I'm relaxed and calm. I enjoyed my day off yesterday and spent half of it with a dear friend visiting and sharing. Here's my wish to the world, open your hearts and share them. Love and Light.
Monday, December 24, 2012
12-24-12 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Quiet day at work
4. My red shiny shirt
5. Dinner with friends
6. Feeling better
7. Organization
8. Endless possibilities in every moment
9. Choices and responsibility
10. The Light
I've been struggling with allowing myself to rest as I feel sick (or am I prolonging my sickness to watch TV to avoid feeling anything or experiencing life) or doing the things that I need to do to be healthy like cleaning and spiritual rituals (or am I doing things because I feel like I need to keep chugging along because that's what I do when I'm sick). I guess there are 4 struggles going on all pulling at each other. And then because of my asthma and bronchitis, I'm on antibiotics and steroids. I react to steroids by not being able to sleep. I constantly feel like I'm on the edge of sleep, all I have to do is close my eyes and I'll be asleep, I'm so tired, and I lie there and stay right on the edge . . . I am frustrated that I don't sleep and I'm exhausted. Just three more days of that and then blissful sleep and I shall be well and healthy. I'm ready. Merry Christmas Eve to all. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Quiet day at work
4. My red shiny shirt
5. Dinner with friends
6. Feeling better
7. Organization
8. Endless possibilities in every moment
9. Choices and responsibility
10. The Light
I've been struggling with allowing myself to rest as I feel sick (or am I prolonging my sickness to watch TV to avoid feeling anything or experiencing life) or doing the things that I need to do to be healthy like cleaning and spiritual rituals (or am I doing things because I feel like I need to keep chugging along because that's what I do when I'm sick). I guess there are 4 struggles going on all pulling at each other. And then because of my asthma and bronchitis, I'm on antibiotics and steroids. I react to steroids by not being able to sleep. I constantly feel like I'm on the edge of sleep, all I have to do is close my eyes and I'll be asleep, I'm so tired, and I lie there and stay right on the edge . . . I am frustrated that I don't sleep and I'm exhausted. Just three more days of that and then blissful sleep and I shall be well and healthy. I'm ready. Merry Christmas Eve to all. Love and Light.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
12-23-12 grateful for today
1. My adorable dog
2. My car running well
3. Quaker Meeting
4. Cool weather
5. Drumming and music
6. Chanting
7. Unconditional Love
8. Endless possibilities in every moment
9. Choices and responsibility
10. Feeling better from my cold
I am feeling better. I've been sick with a cold for a week and now I'm on antibiotics and I'm happy I will be over this soon. I've used the excuse of being sick for not taking care of myself over and over again. My table is piled with junk I haven't bothered to put away. My kitchen is a wreck with dirty dishes all over the place. My living room cluttered with boxes and wrapping paper. Too tired to put anything away, I say. And then I look at the clutter and mess and I'm able to call myself disgusting. I am not disgusting. I am not my thoughts or behaviors or the mess I create. Yes, I create the mess, I am not the mess. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. And currently I'm having trouble with my human experience. I am always of The Light. Love and Light.
2. My car running well
3. Quaker Meeting
4. Cool weather
5. Drumming and music
6. Chanting
7. Unconditional Love
8. Endless possibilities in every moment
9. Choices and responsibility
10. Feeling better from my cold
I am feeling better. I've been sick with a cold for a week and now I'm on antibiotics and I'm happy I will be over this soon. I've used the excuse of being sick for not taking care of myself over and over again. My table is piled with junk I haven't bothered to put away. My kitchen is a wreck with dirty dishes all over the place. My living room cluttered with boxes and wrapping paper. Too tired to put anything away, I say. And then I look at the clutter and mess and I'm able to call myself disgusting. I am not disgusting. I am not my thoughts or behaviors or the mess I create. Yes, I create the mess, I am not the mess. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. And currently I'm having trouble with my human experience. I am always of The Light. Love and Light.
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